


Kindness Of A Stranger

by beginner_in_everything



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Black Romance, Demon Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Hurt Sam, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3899860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beginner_in_everything/pseuds/beginner_in_everything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Julie gets blended in to the supernatural world, one of the best hunters in the world is in the verge of a break down. Will she be able to help him and save more than just one life? even if the first thing cas would do is put his blade on her throat when they first meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Julie, come on! We're gonna be late!” my mom shouted from down stairs. Just a few hours of sleep, is that really too much to ask. It took a few tries but I opened my eyes and reached for the aspirin on the night stand. The bottle rattled in my hand. Thank god! I haven't gorged the entire bottle last night.

I shook the last two pills in to my mouth. I loved the slow sour burn in my throat as the pills went down. Despite that it doesn't seem to do anything to ease the throbbing pain in my head. The clock on the wall flashed 9 am. I had to get up. I kicked off the covers and jumped out of my bed.

“ get ready! Quickly!” mom yelled as she peeked in to my room and saw me staring out at the street from the window.

“is she hung over or something?” I heard my dad asking mom. Oh I wish! Then at least I would have a good excuse to escape this death trap.

Even for me this is humiliating. That's it I'm never coming home again for vacation. My mom's been on the hunt to find me a boyfriend since the day I left for college. Come on mom! It's been only few months and your more interested in getting me laid more than myself. I have friends and just because I don't have someone “special” in my life doesn't make it miserable.

Besides who would want to date me? I'm huge nerd slash freak with a secret knife collection. Fitting in is something I'm still not good at. It was no use explaining it to my mom. All I know is that she has fixed a date for me with the biggest douche I have ever met in my whole life. Whatever, I haven't got much of a choice left anyway. I'll have to do this someday, might as well get it over with.

With a heavy sigh I got off from my bed and went to the bath room. I was scared to death seeing my reflection in the mirror. looked like someone had just shaved my face off. It was just the mud mask mom forced me to put on last night. After few minutes I crept down stair all dressed up and ready to go.

“Julie!” mom chided as I went to the kitchen. “ is that what your planing on wearing on your date?” I looked down on my self. My usual sneakers, denim jeans and a navy blue t shirt with bright orange letters that said “I'm worth the chase"

“ give her a break Kate” YES! Thanks dad. Mom would never go against his will and my puppy eyes never failed to do the trick.

“ may be you should ditch the glasses!”Mike muttered peeking out of his laptop. Mike is my little geek brother. Who can't keep his dirty little mouth shut in a moment like this. His biggest hobby is teasing mom and dad against me.

 

“ that's a good idea!” mom said slamming my plate on the table. Mike grinned at me while I gave him the bitch stare.

“ oh! Hell no mom. You know I can't see shit without these.” oops! I may have played this wrong but luckily but mom was too deep on her thought and dad was drowning in the morning news, so no one noticed that I swore, no one but Mike.

“ mom!” he started and I didn't thought twice about stomping on his foot. “aw!” he screamed resulting to both mom and dad glare at me.

“ can you two please behave at the table!” mom snubbed sitting down at the table. We were all ready to have breakfast.

Mom had made pan cakes and bacon but I had bowl of captain crunch. Lately I had taken lot of pleasure disappointing my mom. So I enjoyed my whole morning hearing my mom bitching about my attitude

Dad left for work and mike spent rest of his morning buried in his school science project. I helped him a bit and slowly slithered back to the living room to watch some TV. Mom had several calls from aunt Betsy. She's my moms childhood friend who also happens to be the mother of my, “to be boyfriend”. Her son was mean to me since the kindergarten. He was total ass clown. He still is, I guess. Although I haven't seen him in almost ten years.

“ you're screwed!” mike whispered as he walked past me.

“ Screw you!” I glared at him and he ran to his room giggling. Just as I was about to get up mom walked in bearing bad news.

“ come on Julie. It's time to go.” mom yelled at me again. I switched off crappy day time TV and dragged my unwilling ass to the car.

“ you're driving!” mom threw me the keys and sat in the passenger seat. She wouldn't stop giving aunt Betsy live broadcast about the drive over the phone, until I stopped in front of the diner. She got down with her phone still glued to her ear.

“ I'll be waiting inside. You go park the car.” she went in.

There was no parking space left, anywhere near the diner. I had to go furthermore to finally find a good spot. I got out and locked the doors. The car beeped and I dropped the keys in to my pocket. The blue bird diner, used to be one my favorite places of all time, it looked a little rustic from the outside but it had a charm of it's own. Anyhow I wasn't in the mind of admiring her beauty at the time.

As reluctant as I was, I had to walk back towards it knowing that there was no escape unless god would be so kind to send me a miracle. I strolled to the diner with my head turned down at the gray tiles on the sidewalk. Everything was so dull but I was still hoping for that miracle to happen. Finally, I was at the diner but I had to cross the street to get to it. Mom was standing at the glass door in the diner and signing me to hurry it up.

One look to the left and one to the right and another one to the left, the road was clear. My phone buzzed in my pocket just as I stepped on the road. I continued to walk towards the diner, now with a phone in my hands and my my mind completely occupied by it.

It was a text from my best friend, Sarah. Aka the text book definition of basic bitch. I bet she's in the line of Starbucks right now. Ah! nailed it. The message was “ oh! The line in Starbucks is killing me!!!”

seriously! I didn't knew I could predict things. “Then get off it” I halted for a moment to sent her my reply.

I heard someone scream my name and I lifted my head from the phone to see what it was. It was my mom who yelled my name banging on the glass wall of the diner. She pointed to my left and and screamed.

“Julie run!” she clamored.

I was still standing in the middle of the street. There was a fully loaded truck,driving towards me.All I saw was my immanent death in a form of a vehicle and in final destination style. God! I hope not I never even finished that movie.

“ Julie! RUN!” mom screamed again.

I stood there frozen for another second. By the looks of the driver, he had no control what so ever over the truck. People would be scraping me, off the road soon. I ran with no direction. I have never run that fast in my life, guess it was the near death experience.

The adrenalin rush soon went away making me dizzy again as I was last night. I felt my legs getting slower and slower, dark patches blurring my vision. I looked back as I ran, the truck was still behind me. What the hell is this? am I in a movie? Cause these things would never happen in real life.

Suddenly my eyes caught the sewer in the side of the road. Jumping in it was my only hope. I closed my eyes and pumped the last bit of energy to my legs. I couldn't make it on my own. I didn't had that much strength left. Someone grabbed my hand and dragged me to the side of the road and in to the gutter. I hit my head hard somewhere and almost blacked out in pain.

It was quiet and dark for a moment. I was still too afraid to open my eyes. All I felt was a strong grip on my hand.

“ hey? Are you alright?” a deep voice asked me, glaceed with concern.

I opened my eyes to see a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I looked up at the man but he climbed out of the sewer before I could get a proper view. He gave me a hand to climb up to the road.

It was a tall man with short dark blond hair. He was about in his mid thirties and he was dressed in a leather jacket and a green plaid shirt underneath it. Ripped jeans and pair of biker boots. He barely caught my hand before I swooned on to the ground.

“Hey? Are you okay?” he asked shaking me from my shoulders, he sounded worried. “ do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“ no, I'm alright.” I grunted my way off the ground with his help. My head was still throbbing from pain and I had scraped my leg real badly.

“ you're hurt!” he said seeing my leg soaked from blood.

“ it's OK. Could help me get to the diner? my..my... mom's in there” I asked him.

“ sure thing.” he said taking my hand and keeping it over his shoulder. I hobbled my way back to the diner clinging on him. I looked around to see the truck. What the hell? The road was empty. Everything was so peaceful and quiet.

Every one in the diner were freaked out. Mom came running to when she saw me. The man sat me on the steps of the diner. Everybody was grateful to him for saving my life. Especially my mom, she kept thanking him over and over again. He just smiled at them and came to me one last time.

“ thank you for saving my life!” I stood up and muttered.

He looked down at me and smiled again. I might had hit my head somewhere but I was sure as I'll ever be in that moment. I swear to god! His eyes flashed black. Maybe for a moment but it was real. His green eyes flashed  black as he blinked and turned back normal again in a second.

I had seen those black eyes before. And I surely knew that they never meant good. I was scared , couldn't move, my mouth dried out. Few dark patches appeared in my sight and merged in to one dark layer. It was all I could remember, before I fainted on to the ground with a loud thud.

It was dark and but the moon light was beautiful and brilliant creeping in through the glass windows. I was at the old farm house my parents used to own. Mom and dad wasn't home but there was a familiar face at the sight, it was my cousin Ben. He was in the living room stretched out on the couch with his eyes glued to a book as usual. I was just about to call him when I heard a baby's cry from another room.

“ can you check on him?” Ben asked me not taking his eyes off the book.

“yeah.” I nodded and walked along the shadowy passage in to the room.

The window was wide open and the curtains danced in the breeze. The lights were off, still the room was almost fully lit with the moon rays. Something scraped at the window along with the low howl of the wind. It was just the tree next to the room, raked it's twigs on the glass. I hurried to the window fearing that the wind would make the baby sick. Taking a one glance of outside, I closed the window and the curtains.

I turned to the crib next which stood alone near the bed. A small foot kicked my nose hard as soon as I crouch in. the baby chuckled snuggling his teddy from one hand.

“hey mike!” I smiled back at him slowly rocking the crib. In a few minutes he was back asleep. I leaned in to give him a sweet good night kiss on his forehead.

Suddenly the lights flickered. I wasn't scared because electricity acting up was a normal thin in this old rusty house. It was the terrifying scream I heard next, made me freeze from fear. I stood stone still for a moment, listening. I heard nothing but complete silence. It was Ben and I was sure of it. I wanted to run back to the living room but something told me not to leave my brother alone. I slowly rolled the sleeping baby in to my hands and stepped back to Ben.

Everything was completely normal when I stepped in. Ben still had his face buried in his book. And I assumed the scream was something I had made up in my mind.

I carefully sat the little one on the baby chair by the table. He was still drooling asleep.

Everything except one thing seemed all right. The air smelled like rotten eggs.  
“ Ew! Did you fart?” I poked Ben with a finger and giggled. He startled for a moment and turned to me.

He threw away the book he held over his face and laughed. I had never screamed that loud in my entire life. I could barely recognize him. His face was just a mess of blood and ripped skin and flesh. His eyes were pitch black. Whatever it was before me wasn't my cousin. He glared at me with his sable eyes and laughed again like a maniac. Mike woke up from my scream and began crying, his cry became louder as he saw the monster in front of him.

“B-Ben?” I whispered at the deformed figure staring at me, shuddering in fear.

“ not home at the moment.” he replied. He smiled showing his blood stained teeth.

I rushed to Mike. The murderous stare Ben gave me made me freeze in terror. He laughed again but not a gentle, childlike laugh. It was cold and hollow with a ruthless threat written over it. He held his hand in the air and swiped his palm to the side. I was thrown away to the wall. A pained scream escaped my mouth as I hit my back hard against the wall.

“ the word around the camp fire is, that you're gonna bring us so much trouble.” he tilted his head at me. I found myself stuck to the wall with my feet dangling few feet from the ground as he moved his hand further up in the air.

“better nip you in the but than letting you grow in to a bigger threat.” he tilted his to the other side looking me up head to toe one last time. He fist the palm of his hand with force and laughed again coldly.

I felt a invisible hand gripping it's fingers tight around my neck. I couldn't move, with the roof good two feet above my head, my legs dangled helplessly in the the air. The grip was getting tighter by the second. It was getting harder me to breath. My tongue hanged out of my mouth like a dog and my eyes rolled back. I could almost hear the cracking of the bones in my neck. As I fought my best to take in another gasp of air by body trashed wildly. I was almost completely dead when they came.

The front door of the house banged open and three men dashed inside. I was released from the iron grip on my throat as Ben spared some of his attention to the intruders, but I was still pinned to the wall. One of the men looked older than the other two and he had a bottle of what seemed to be water in his hand. Ben scowled at the men. He threw some in Ben's face and he hissed away in pain as if the water burned his skin.

Ben lost whatever will power he held over me and fell down like an apple falling down from the tree. The man threw down the bottle and rushed to me and caught me before I hit the ground and break all my bones. I opened my eyes after a moment.

The other men were struggling with Ben. One of them who appeared youngest of them all, held a small leather bound book on his hand. He read something out of it in a singsong tone , in a language I couldn't understand. Ben growled like a wild animal and tried to lash at him.

“ Sam watch out!” the man who still held me on his lap yelled.

The other man jumped on my cousin and twisted his arms behind his back. Ben growled and hissed attempting to get away from the man. One with the book continued his muttering.

“ the Winchesters!” Ben jeered. “ how predictable!” he hissed again at the man behind him.

“and how pathetic of you big bad boy to pick on a five year old.” the man rejoined. “ even for you it's too low” he muttered in anger.

Sam quickly finished the words and closed the book with a thud. Ben roared one last time in a inhuman voice and a black smoke shot out from his mouth and swung it's way out through the window. Dean released Ben's hands from his gripe and he crumpled on to the ground like an old rug. He knelt beside him and pressed two fingers on his neck. He got to his feet again shaking his head, with a disappointed look crossing his face.

Scared by the Ben's roaring and the spooky black smoke Mike started crying again.  
“ Dean, get the baby.” the older man ordered and Dean rushed to the baby chair. He took the baby in his arms and paced the room, trying to shush him.

I started crying as the baby fell silent. The man looked down at the little girl still lay lump on his lap. It was too much for a five year old child to go through, not to mention I was now completely surround by strangers, with my dead cousin two feet away from me.

“ hey sweety, are you alright?” he asked. Even though he looked a bit crude, his voice was kind and consoling. I nodded in answer, shivering in fear.

“ it's okay, sweet heart. You're gonna be okay!” he added carrying me to the nursery, away from Ben's corpse. He signed Dean to follow him with the baby. He sat me down on a small chair by the crib. Dean entered to the room with Sam next to him. He gingerly kept Mike in the crib and placed the small teddy bear by his side.

The man knelt beside the chair and stared at me smiling lightly. I was still shaking from fear and I couldn't control the tears running down my face. He brought one of his big hands to my face and wiped off the tears. He smiled again and now Sam knelt on the ground to join him smiling brightly to console me.

“ hey! What's your name?” he asked in a soft tone taking my hand between his.

“J-Julie...” I stuttered.

“ it's alright Julie.” the man said. “ you're mom and dad will be here soon.” he assured. “ but I want you to stay here in this room until they get here. Can you do that?” he asked.

I nodded in agree, more tears rushing down from my eyes, again. The man smiled and got to his feet pressing something on my palm. Dean followed him quietly as he walked out of the room, flashing a light smile at me and finally Sam walked out looking worried. They closed the door and I heard the door lock clicking.

“ but dad! We can't just leave them here, like this!” Sam complained.

“ yes! we can and we will!” their dad growled in a absolute voice. “ unless you have a good explanation for her parents. Do you?” he asked. Sam didn't reply but groaned in frustration. All three of them walked away from the door and I last heard the reviving of an engine outside and sound of a car driving off.

I sat there frozen for another few minutes. There was too much information for my little brain to process in one night. I couldn't cry, I couldn't even make a sound , my mouth was dried out. After a time that felt like a eternity I heard the sound of a familiar car on our front yard. The front door creaked opened and I heard my moms scream. Dad came running to the nursery door.  
“JULIE!” he yelled in panic.

“dad!” I finally cried letting out all the tears, I held back.

“hey! HEY! Sis. It's alright I'm here!” I stopped yelling for my dad as I heard a familiar voice beside me. Mike squeezed my palm between his hands. I tried to open my eyes but it took more than usual effort. My vision was blurred. It took me few blink and I was staring at the ceiling above my bed. I turned my head to the side to see Mike sitting at my bed side with his head on his hands. He smiled seeing me awake.

“ the usual dream?” he asked.

“ yeah.” I nodded. Although I knew it wasn't a dream. It was real as him and me staring at each other,real as two years worth therapy bills and almost defiantly real as our dead cousin Ben.

It took me two years of daily therapy sessions to get myself back on the track but it wasn't enough to erase that horrible night from my mind. I had that dream couple of years back for the last time. I would never forget it. When mom and dad and the cops asked I told them everything I saw. Naturally they didn't listen. They just thought I was traumatized by the tragic death of my cousin. Ben's death was just sorted in to the unsolved homicide category. It was over fifteen years ago but I couldn't slide with his death just as easy as my parents did. It left me scared for my whole life.

So now I knew where I had seen the face of that man before. So it must be Dean Winchester who saved my ass again after all theses years. But what did those black eyes meant? why did he had them?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is perfect.Right? nothing can ever go wrong.

“hey! You still here?” mike asked waving his hand in front of me.

“yeah, yeah I'm alright” I answered trying to get up. It was harder than I thought. I ended up falling back grunting in pain. Mike looked at me pitifully.

“ well aren't you a wuss!” he said helping me to sit up. 

“ what the hell happened to you?” he asked.

“ I'm not so sure. How long have I been out?” I had no idea how much time had passed since the incident at the diner.

“ almost two days. And you been having the same nightmare over and over.” he replied. He had bags under his eyes and he looked tired as hell. I was surprised to see him like that.

“ and you were up all the time?” I asked.

“uh... most of it.” he said before disappearing out the door. Poor boy! I should do something for him later.

“ Dean Winchester!” I muttered slowly. I barely seen the guy properly and I met him fifteen years ago when I was a little kid. But the question was how did he ended up with pair of those charcoal eyes? After all these years Ben's words were echoing in my mind. He was about to kill me. There's no doubt about that but did that Winchester I met two days ago meant that the black smoke is after me again?

“ Julie...” my mom called my name and entered the room. She looked kinda sad but relieved at the same time. “ how are you feeling?” she asked running a hand through my hair.

“ I'm fine mom.” I smiled at her.

“ there's someone here to see you.” she smiled turning her head at the girl came in.

“Sarah!” I yelled almost jumping out of my bed in excitement. My best friend was at my home to see me, I've never felt this happy and she also had some great news.

“ congratulations GIRL! You scored 37 on MCAT!” she said shaking me from my shoulders.

“ what?” I asked in disbelief. I really couldn't confide what she said. Yes, I spent hours and hours trapped in the library while others were partying but it was hard to believe I scored that much. I can now go to my dream med school. Guess hard work does pay off.

“ I'm so proud of you Julie!” mom had the brightest smile I had seen in a while on her face. “ I'll call you're dad and give him the good news.” she ran out of my room with flying colors.

“ pinch me if I'm wrong. This is a dream right?” I asked from Sarah as she sat on the bed beside me.

“ here!” she grabbed my hand and dug her nail on my skin. Damn! that hurt like hell. I pulled my hand back to me and scowled at her.

“yeah! Yeah! I get it. No need to pinch that hard. how about you?"

Sarah looked down and clicked her tongue. " may be next time"

" When did you get that scar by the way?” I asked, just to change the subject but her reaction made me reconsider. There was a fresh scar across her neck. She had tried so hard to hide it with tone of make up and failed. 'God! I hope she was alright in the few weeks I was gone.'

“ oh it's nothing!” she panicked and tried to cover it up with her hand. It was something really bad and I knew it. Her phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket. Her eyebrows rose to her hairline as she stared in to the phone. I grabbed it from her hand.

“ '666'? who is this?” I asked, muddled by the scar and her hollow stare.

“ none of your business!” she yelled and took the phone from my hand and ran out. I would definitely run after if I could but this time I had to just sit on my bed and think about what the hell just happened.

“ Mrs. Campbell, I'm leaving!” I heard Sarah talk to my mom before she left.

I had no visitors until late afternoon that day. So I slept most of the time. Mom was thrilled by the good news Sarah brought and decided to make my favorite for lunch. It was something that hadn't happened in years and dad bought me a giant teddy bear on his way home for lunch. So the point is that it was a super happy day for me.

It was about four in the afternoon, when my mom walked in to my room again with a stranger behind her. He was a tall man dressed in a cheap suit. He was really, really tall, my mom looked like a hobbit compared to him. He had messy long brown hair, which he fixed by just running his hand through it.

He turned to me and smiled a bit but he looked tired and hurt, through the thin layer of fake happiness. He opened his mouth to talk but stopped halfway groaning because of his dry throat. He turned to my mother and asked her for some water.

“ sure, agent” mom rushed to the kitchen to bring him some water. Agent? So is he from FBI? Nah! Can't be. No agent would wear a cheap suit and look like his wife just kicked him out of the house.

“ have a seat. You look tired.” I said to him tilting my head at a chair. He muttered something to thank me and practically fell on the chair. He took in a deep breath and wiped the sweat off his face. I couldn't stop but feeling sorry for the man. He must have had a hard time lately, he got that look in his face.

Mom came in with a glass of water in her hand. He took the glass from her and drank the whole thing in one breath.

“ thank you!” he muttered in a banal tone. He returned the glass to her and mom went away again to answer a call from aunt Betsy.

“ what does an agent have to do in here?” I finally asked him. He must have sensed the disbelief in my voice.

“ you don't believe me?” he asked, that fake smile plastered on his mouth again.

“ I would. If I can see some ID.” I replied.

He pulled out an ID from his pocket, with the bored expression of a professional crossing his face. May be he is an agent after all. But my mind was still refusing to believe it even after seeing his ID. He dropped it back to his pocket and pulled out a small note-book and a pen.

“ So, Juliana Ray Campbell. Am I right?” he asked turning his hazel eyes at me.

“yep! That's me. But call me Julie” I answered. Suddenly the man looked a little familiar. Someone came in to my mind but I was not sure to believe that it was him.

“ have you seen this man?” he pulled a photo out of the note-book and handed it to me. It was a some handsome ass guy with short blond hair in a black t-shirt and a dark green jacket. Hey! Wait a second, this was the guy with flashing black eyes that I saw two days ago! It was a photo of Dean Winchester.

“ depends, what did he do?” I stuttered trying to control the panic attack I've been having internally. Should I lie and save the man who saved my life two times or should I tell the agent the truth? I was torn between two choices.

“ Julie! Have you seen him?” the man jumped out the chair and caught my hand tight. He looked at me with his voice shaking and eyes glittering with tears. His hollow voice suddenly turned hopeful and rough with temper.

“ who are you?” I jerked away from him. He backed away from me and fell on the chair again. He buried his face in his giant hands, muffling his sobs. Whoa! What the hell happened? What did I do to make a grown man cry?

“ I....I..saw him two days ago! He saved my life.” I quickly muttered. I didn't wanted him crying. His head shot up a bit of hope glistening in his eyes.

“ was he normal? Was there anything wrong with him? Anything! Anything out of the ordinary?” he asked more angry and forceful this time.

“ he..he... um.. I don't know. But I swear! I saw his eyes flash black for a second.” He stared at me again terrified and utterly hopeless at the time.

He turned pale as if he just saw a ghost. A tear danced in his eye trying to jump out in any minute. He bustled his gaze back at the book and the tear splashed on the paper. I've only seen that irresistible puppy dog eyes in someone, just once.

“ Sam? Sam Winchester?” I muttered in a low and doubtful voice. His mouth fell open and his eyebrows bounced up.

“ how? How did you..?” he asked puzzled by a girl he never knew suddenly muttering his name.

“ do you remember this?” I stretched my hand at him. He grabbed my wrist towards him and inspected the piece of junk I wore. I hadn't taken it off ever since that man left it on my palm. I never knew what it meant but it gave me sense of security.

“ a charm bracelet? My dad used to own these. Who gave you this?” he questioned letting go of my hand.

“ November 2nd 1998. an old farm-house in the out skirts of Utah. You and two other men saved a little girl and her baby brother from a freaky black-eyed thing.” I explained. “Ring a bell?”

he closed his eyes and revelation hit him hard. How could he forget. It was the last successful hunt he went together with his family, before running away to Stanford. Sure he went on small jobs with his brother after that. But it was the last hunt he went with his dad which turned out to be okay. And as every hunt he went with his father after wards ended with tragedy.

He was awaken from the past by the sound of his phone ringing. He pulled it out of his coat and held it to his ear.

“ Cas! Did you find anything?” he asked eagerly. The person from the other side gave him presumably a positive answer. A light hopeful smile brightened his face.

“ are you sure? Or are we just flogging a dead horse like the last time?” he couldn't help but groan in frustration as the other person mumbled something.

“ no,no,no. There's no.... It's just a metaphor. Okay bye! I'll call you soon as I get there.” he hung up and shook my hand with an amused smile.

“ I think I got a lead on what I'm after. Thanks for your support!” he hopped his way out my room. “ be careful! You might be in danger.” he warned stopping at the door.

************************************************  
It was not as bad as I thought. I felt pretty confident with the answers I gave them. I could proudly say that I totally nailed that interview. Getting to med school is obviously not easy but all the suffering I went through in past few months were totally worth the joy. I had barely squeezed my self out of the interview room when mom called.

“ yeah mom! fucking nailed it!” I screamed in to the phone in excitement as I ran out side of the building. She hung up the phone and sent me a text.

“ MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!”yeah, whatever mom. I know you're secretly happy underneath all that. It was time to celebrate the victory.

I downed my second bottle of beer as I waited for my two friends to appear from the door at any moment. They were late,as usual. It was the second time I came to have drink in this bar. For every agonizing hour I spent buried under piles of book, I only thought of this place about a hundred thousand times. The place was packed everyday, because it was the nearest bar to the campus, where you can drink all your problems away.

The majority of 'party now! Study later!' students were the usual customers but occasionally there were one or two like me. Either dragged out of the dorm by friends or rejoicing a little success every once in a while. It was mostly drunk dudes, but there were some girls too, putting their radar on all the hot guys.

I moved from the table to an old bar stool giving room for a couple who had their mouths pined together. Finally Sarah and her boyfriend showed up when I was about to order another beer.

“ beer? What are you 13?” Ryan mocked, slamming his hand on the bar. “are we celebrating or what?” he asked waving his hand at the bartender . “ the usual for me and something fancy for the ladies.” he winked at the barkeep as she asked for our order.

Sarah had the one of the most famous play boys of the campus for a boyfriend. I was the first girl he hit on as soon as he stepped foot on this bar. I set him up with Sarah instead of myself. Even though he wasn't my type, he proved to be a really good friend. A friend in need.

“ this is not my idea of celebrating.” I muttered to the empty bottle in my hand.

“ well mine is and you better go along with it.” Sarah warned. I downed a few more drinks chatting with my only friends.

Pretty soon I was at the point of not being able to walk my way back to the campus on my own. so I decided to leave. I got up to walk back to the dorm. Throwing few bucks for the bill and the tip I walked to the door.

“hey! Are you leaving?” Ryan stood in my way. “ just stay for a while. It's your night out.”

“ yeah! But I don't want to wake up with a hang over.” I slipped myself off from him. “ see ya tomorrow man!” he handed me my jacket and Sarah came and dragged him off to the side to glue her lips to his.

“ get a room you two!” I hurried out before he replied with a colorful rejoinder. But I heard it any way.

“ yours will be fine!” he yelled.

I slung my jacket around my shoulders and walked along the road get back to my dorm. Only thing I can now imagine is me passed out on my bed hugging a pillow.

It was bit chilly than the other night so I quickened the my pace along the dark sidewalk. The street lamps were burned out months ago. I guess we pay our taxes for nothing then. I felt a kind of scared to walk along on the not so familiar path. I was in a pretty good mood so I didn't really care. Until a sound behind me almost made me jump out of my bones.

It was weak whine but in the dead of the night it was more loud and clear. My hand automatically moved to the butterfly knife in my pocket. I waited for a moment, listening. Whining sound came again, this time it was coming from behind a bush. So as the brave little idiot I was, I decided to check it out.

Slowly I peeked in through all the leaves. A pair of cute blue eyes stared in to mine, with another helpless whine. A wet tong slithered over my face. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. It whines and crooned as I took him to my hands. He had a fresh bruise over his tummy.

“ come on buddy let's take you home.” I wrapped the puppy from my jacket and rushed home. I was thinking about sneaking in to the library and make up for some of the lost study time. But it was too late and I didn't have the heart to leave the little cutesy on the street.

He seemed hungry so I fed him and he looked at me with those hearty eyes with gratitude. As soon as his breadbasket was full, he fell fast asleep on my lap. I couldn't help but smile at the little creature. A little after I too climbed on to bed with him still curled on my embrace.

I shook awake from a loud thump on the wall above my head. It came from the other room followed by some needy moans and sound of lips smacking against each other. Ryan had listened to my advise but he should understand some people are trying to sleep in the other room. The sounds coming from there only became rougher and louder. I buried my head under my pillow trying to muffle out the awkward sounds. To my surprise, it stopped quicker than usual with a one creek of their bed.

That was strange but I couldn't just go and see what they were doing. So I waited another couple of minutes. Everything was too silent to be normal. Finally I gained the courage to check what the hell was going on in the other room.

The door wasn't locked, it opened even before I touched the knob. The lights were off but I could see the silhouette of Ryan lying on the bed but no sign of Sarah. I flipped the switch but the bulb exploded instead of lighting the room.

“ whoa!” I yelled. Ryan was still lying on the bed without even a movement. I was starting to get worried.

I walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. I hardly muffled my scream with my hand and jumped back. His face was gone. The same mess of flesh, skin and blood, I saw on Ben fifteen years ago. I rushed to the door without a second thought. I had get out and fast but the door slammed close itself. A mocking laugh came from behind made me turn around.

“ so we meet again bitch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is my first story. feel free to tell me what you think about it. critics and comments are welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

The demon laughed along with the meat suit it was possessing. Sam waited another minute behind the bathroom door. He knew he ought to save the girl but he also needed to know what did they find so special on her but on top of everything he needed answers.

“ you slipped right from my hand last time. Remember?” the demon paced a circle around her before going to the dead guy on the bed.

“Sarah?” Julie murmured, tears hanging loose on her eyes.

“ sorry not available.” she chuckled flicking a piece of skin from the corpse. “ you are one hard fish to catch. you know that?”

“ what are you?” Julie winced at the sight of her friend pulling scraps of meat from her boyfriend's face. “ what did you do to my friends!” she yelled tears now running down her face.

“ pretty boy here is dead as you can see. And I killed him while wearing his girlfriend.” the demon laughed again, sending a light chill down Sam spine. Demons were cruel he knew that but moments like this emphasized the fact in his mind. He was ready with the demon knife clutched in his hand but it wasn't time yet.

“ you bitch!” Julie lashed at it only to find that she was stuck to the ground.

“ easy there! I'm not started with you.” the demon smirked. “ and when I am, you'd be begging for death even before the end.” it swung it's hand to the side and Sam was waiting to hear the familiar thud but nothing happened. Julie was still standing where she was.

Strange! He hadn't seen anyone else do it but himself. Although he was all jacked up on demon blood that time. How did this girl managed to do that? It started worry him a little bit.

“ good! You've improved than the last time. But not enough to escape me kiddo!” it took a step towards her and small puppy came running and bit in to the demon's leg. The demon snorted barely noticing the tiny thing clung on her leg.

“ this yours?” it asked pointing the dog. “ stupid, really stupid.” it muttered as it got the dog by neck and threw it in to a wall. It hit the ground with a tiny yelp and became completely silent.

“ no!” Julie muttered helplessly. The demon took another steady step towards her and suddenly stood rock still two steps away from the girl.

Julie was muttering something in a strange language. Enochian possibly, because it wasn't Latin, yet sounded similar to Sam. By the looks of her,she had no control over her mouth. She was just muttering mindlessly.

“ you trying to fire me bitch?” the demon yelled and wrapped it's hand around her neck and pushed her on the wall. Julie was still muttering and the demon had her pinned to the wall while tightening the grip. She couldn't mutter anymore and her eyes rolled back and she began gagging. It was Sam chance to finally take on the demon.

He dashed out of the bath room and with two steps with his long legs, he was already plunging the knife inside the demons back. It loosened the hand around Julie's neck and she fell on the ground in to a heap. With a dark orange glow inside the meat suite which frittered for moment the demon was finally dead. The dead body of the possessed girl fell down after he pulled out the knife and turned to Julie. She was still lying limp on the ground with her eyes shut in fear and shock. He leaned her against wall and knelt in front of her.

“ hey! Julie, open your eyes!” he cried shaking her from the shoulder. She opened her eyes with a gasp and stared in to Sam's eyes for a few seconds, before coughing out a sob.

“ Sam?” she muttered in disbelief and looked over his shoulder at her dead friend. “ Sarah?”  
she cried in a broken voice and shoved him away, crawling back to her dead friend.

“Sarah? Sarah? come on, wake up..!” she squalled hugging her friends still warm body. Sam was worrying about other things. All the yelling and screaming must have awoken the whole neighborhood and they must be already on their way here. There was no way in hell to explain all this. They had no time to waste but act quickly as possible.

“ Julie come on! Come with me. You can't stay here, you're not safe!” Sam tugged from her hand but she shook it away and yelled.

“ I don't care!” yes, he could understand perfectly the pain she must have been feeling,she just lost her best friends and there was no one else who knew the agony of loosing someone dear, more than Sam but it was not the time to grief. He couldn't leave her like that and she was not coming with him willingly.

Sam had no choice but to knock her out and carry her back to his car. It wasn't hard and he came back to grab Julie's suitcase, good thing she hadn't unpacked then, and again to clean up the mess and arrange everything so it would look like the poor girl butchered her boyfriend and took her own life after. Cops would buy it, they always did.

Julie finally woke up when they were past several mile from their campus. She opened her eyes and panicked after seeing where she was. Next thing she did was reach for the door, good thing Sam cuffed her hands.

“ stop the damn car!” she demanded. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned to her with no idea how to explain everything.

“ who hell are you? and where are you taking me?” she asked tugging on the cuffs.

“ you already know, my name's Sam Winchester.” well that certainly wasn't a good introduction. “ and I'm taking you some where safe.”

“I don't wanna go anywhere with you!” she rumbled.

“ So where do you wanna go then?” he asked trying hard not to knock her out again. His temper seemed to be very low theses day and last thing he wanted was a girl whining beside him. He had enough shit to deal with already.

“ home! back to my friends” she snapped.

“ alright then, home it is.” he said turning the car around and driving back the opposite direction. It was better to drop this bag of trouble to where it came. The next five minutes of the drive was very quiet, just like having Cas 'the silent angel' in the passenger seat.

“ what was all that back in the dorm? What was wrong with her?” she asked finally breaking the silence.

“ it was a demon. Your friend was possessed.” he replied. Sam waited listening for a moment for her to say that he was bat-shit crazy but instead...

“ a demon?” she scoffed. “ look monsters, I'm sure! But there's no such thing as demons.” he couldn't believe that she was actually making some sense from what he said and she seemed lot more calm than any of the normal people he had met, after seeing such a horrible thing happen to her friends.

“ look, I know who you are Sam. You're hunter and you kill monsters and save people.” she explained. His eyes widened in surprise.

“ don't look so surprised. My dad was a hunter too. I found his old journal a week ago” she said giving him a proud smirk.

“ well if you know so much. You better believe in demons too. And that one was going to kill you!”

“ why?” she asked him the question that Sam should have asked from her.

“ I don't know!” he replied. “ may be they have their reasons. Even being distantly related to us is god enough.” he waited until confusion took over her face and she scoffed again in doubt.

“ that isn't even remotely possible!”

“ well then, do you know a man named Samuel Campbell?” he hated even mentioning that name ever again but he had to.

“ as far as I know he was my grand father and an arrogant dick. He kicked my dad out of the house because....” she muttered until Sam cut in.

“ because he refused to join the hunting life. He wanted to live a normal life. Right?” the look of sheer astonishment she was giving him made Sam actually wonder, why anyone of his family never had an ordinary life. Do none them really deserve that?

“ how do you know?” she stared at him hollow and suspicious.

“ well, I did my research. So did you know that Rodger Campbell had a sister named Mary?”

“ yes, she was pretty much everything he had written in the book. How much him and her wanted to get a normal life.”

“ she was my mother...” Sam felt his voice braking under the solid tone. Every time he was reminded of his mother, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her even more than he felt for himself. She didn't deserve anything she went through, because of him.

Julie fell silent again. She must have seen the tears pooling in Sam's eyes and decided not to talk anymore about it. But he needed to know more, he had so many questions. If demons went to the trouble of killing all of his mom's friends, why not her brother? And why go after his daughter after all these years?

“ what happened Sam? Who broke your arm? Last time I saw you, you wasn't winged.” she finally asked.

“ it's a long story, you probably don't want to know.”

“ fine then, don't tell me.” she snubbed. “ but tell me this. My dad, he quit, after he met my mom. So why didn't your mom did?”

“ oh! she did.” it was the stupidest question she could ask from him. “ but there's no escape from this life. No matter how fast you run. Sooner or later the past is gonna catch up and you're whole life's gonna go up in flames... literally!”

“ what happened?” she asked again.

“ a demon killed my mom. When I was a baby. My dad raised me in to this life to get revenge.” he explained.

“ why? Why would they kill her?”

“ because she came for me. Because she stood between me and the demon.”

“ I'm sorry!”

“ don't be! But I'm warning you, if one demon came after you and there's whole pack behind it. They'll kill you, your family and everyone you hold dear. So I suggest I you keep away from them as far as possible.” Sam gave out the usual speech which he knew by heart, by having to say it to so many people. Yet he was worried about the girl and her family.

“ Sam, wait!” she said taking a whole minute to reconsider. “ I'll go with you.” she finished, not entirely sure with the words coming out of her mouth.

“ are you sure?” Sam asked quietly regretting his decision, to tell her the truth. “ cause I already have my hands full! I won't be able to babysit!”

“ you won't have to, I promise!” she assured, making the younger Winchester trample the break and turn the car around once again. He switched on the player and turned up the volume, letting the speakers blare the classic rock. Just like Dean used to do just to annoy Sam and earn a growl from him. The girl didn't even notice but proceeded to look out the window.

“ I see the bad moon rising... I see trouble on the way....” he hummed along wondering about the trouble, he got himself in to, as if he wasn't already neck-deep in a one.


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost dawn when they reached to bunker. Sam didn't have to worry about binding Julie's eyes or anything because she was sound asleep when they finally came there. Sam shook her awake and asked her to come inside. As sleepy as she was, Julie just absentmindedly walked in the room he showed and fell limp on the bed in a second. Sam was done for the day, he was exhausted as much as she was and after putting her to bed, he walked straight in to his room and flopped on the bed with his jacket and boots still on.

Julie woke up next morning, unable to remember where she was. She remembered just bits and pieces from yesterday and how she hopped on to the bed at some point in the dawn, that she was still lying on. How could she have been so stupid? To jump in to a strangers car and drive back to his place without a second thought. She was relieved to find out that she was still in the way as she was last night. Well, this Sam Winchester she could trust. After all, he and his brother had saved her life three times in row now.

She got off from the bed and out of the room. And stepped in to a long corridor aligned with line of doors, which all had a symbol of a circle and a star carved on the wood. Eventually she got the end of the passage and it ended with a room with a half open door. She took a quick peek inside and Sam was still sleeping on the bed squishing a pillow to his chest and snoring.

“ hey! Hey Sam!” she shook him from the shoulder holding a steaming cup of coffee in her hand. Sam replied with a light sleepy groan and turned the other side.

“ come on wake up!” she shook him more harder setting the coffee on the table near the bed.

“ what the fuck DE..!” Sam shot up, furiously,kicking off the covers and stopped dead halfway through his cursing.

“ oh it's you.” he looked at her rubbing the sleep off his eyes. He sounded much less surprised though. Unlike Julie he remembered every little detail of last night like it was happened just a moment ago. Sometimes it was the problem,he just couldn't forget everything and move on with life.

“ coffee's on the table.” she said walking out the door before Sam's brain started operating the normal way.

“ thank you!” he shouted hoping she would hear it.

As soon as he was out of a quick shower and got rid of the blood stain all over him, he pulled on pair of new jeans and a shirt. He stepped to the library,taking a sip of the coffee that was still cooling off on the table. His lips curled as soon as the sweetness hit his taste buds. It wasn't the slightly bitter over dose of caffeine he gulped down every morning. Still it was better than having to do it all by himself. Lately he was making such a mess in Dean's perfect kitchen trying make himself dinner with only one hand functioning properly.

Sam's mouth fell open not seeing the cluster of books on the table, which he could swear, was there last night. Instead it was all in neat piles on the table. And all the candy and energy bar wrappers strewn about the floor was put on a trash can. It wasn't smelling awful either. Surprisingly it was clean and fresh after a long time. Sam had no doubt about who did it all but he wanted to know why?

He followed the clattering sound that continued to hear from the kitchen. Julie was done with her breakfast and was finishing off by doing the dishes. Well that was really a surprise for Sam. The girl barely knows him and he knifed her friend the second time he met her but despite all that she had already cleaned up the whole place and made food for the both of them. With suspicion bouncing in his mind, he sat at the table and Julie slid him a bowl of noodles.

“ what the hell is this?” he asked in rather husky voice taking a look at the yellow mess in the bottom of the bowl. It wasn't very appetizing sight.

“ Cheesy Ramen!” she smiled bitterly handing him a fork. “ college hack! Besides there was nothing to make something else.” she said reminding Sam that he really had to go grocery shopping, now with a new mouth present in the bunker to be fed. Also he needed some actual food to keep up. Instead of having a bottle of whiskey for breakfast,lunch and dinner everyday.

“ whatever!” Sam took a bite shrugging away the disgusting vibe he was getting from it. It wasn't actually that bad and his stomach growled loudly feeling the touch of food after been deprived from it for a while.

Julie placed the final plate on the rack and sat at the table with her own coffee in her hand. Sam lifted his head and proceeded on gulping down his breakfast. She kept silent drinking her coffee, until Sam was done and ready to talk. Sam got up and threw the bowl and the folk straight in to the sink with a loud clatter.

“ seriously!” she muttered under her breath glaring at him.

“ did you clean up all that mess?” Sam asked walking over to her.

“ yeah” she replied feeling a little guilty about what she did. “ sorry! It's my OCD. I can't help it.”

“ no,no,no” Sam smiled. “ it was a big favor. I appreciate it!” he was truly grateful to her for doing all that for him it was more than he could ask from her. “ so are we gonna talk about this?” he asked dropping himself on the chair.

“ talk about what?” she stared at him in confusion.

“ about what you're gonna do now? You can't stay here forever! You're family's gonna be worried.” he hunched his shoulders and waited for an answer.

“ excuse me!” she frowned. “ you told me, not to go home! Can you please tell me what exactly to do? Cause I'm getting mixed messages here!”

He didn't even dreamed about bringing her to the bunker when he accidentally laid eyes on her in a crappy bar outside of nowhere. He was just following a trail of a demon hoping to find where Crowley was. But his hunter instinct told him that something wrong and he followed her back to her dorm and waited in the other room, until the demon showed up.

After hearing a sudden loud thump he woke up and realized that he had slept through most of the good stuff, in the bath tub. He shot up and rushed to the bathroom door and saw Julie confronting the demon. And there was a dead man lying still on the bed. He wanted to step in and gut the demon in a heart beat but he needed information, so hesitated waiting for a moment of weakness. To both serve both needs of saving the girl and not killing the demon, so he could torture it's ass and get some information.

As the argument heated up and the demon had her on a death grip, he changed his mind. He didn't wanted any one of his family ,close or distant, killed because of him, after dealing with the latest trauma of loosing his brother. When her eyes rolled back in to the sockets he just hurried out and saved her, killing the demon.

He almost certainly knew it was one of Crowley's minions came after her. As the daring bastard he is he wouldn't miss even a light chance to mess with Sam. Once he ran away with his dead brother whom he still failed to find and now he...

“ hello! Sam are you in there?” Julie cut in dragging him back from his thoughts. “ what should I do now?”

“ just forget it! Forget I ever said anything. You can stay here as long as you want.” he said getting up from his seat and made his way to the library.

“ what the..” she whispered to herself, baffled with his sudden change of mood and thought.

“ yeah thanks Carlos! But are you sure?” Sam was mumbling over the phone when she finally found the library. This whole place was confusing and all the hallways looked exactly same to her.

“ what was the place again? Yeah! And the guys name?” he asked looking over a scrap of paper he wrote down the name and the town. “ Drew Neely. Right, got it. Hey! Thanks again man. thanks a lot!” he hung up and walked past her with out even noticing her.

after little while Sam's enormous form appeared in front of her again. He was all suited up and had a duffel slung over his shoulder. Obviously he was going somewhere. He took a phone out of his pocket and slid it to her over the table.

“ here's a phone, give me a call if something goes wrong. And please don't call your home, I don't want any more trouble. I'll be back soon.”

“wait! Where are you going?”

“ it's a long story. I 'll tell you when I get back.” he turned away quickly, pacing out the room.

“ but what do I do?” she asked before he does the whole vanishing thing on her again.

“ clean the whole place. Go nuts. I don't mind but don't mess with my stuff.” he grinned. “And there's the laptop, and internet. Watch some porn!” he rushed out almost running to the door before she interrupts him with another round of questions.

“ but where the hell am I?”

“ Lebanon, Kansas!” he yelled closing the door after him with a loud thud.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Dean's word which hurt Sam's psyche most. It was hurting more than the sprained elbow,Cole messed up even more. He knew his brother and when everything fails his last hope would be Sam. He wouldn't just abandon his little brother, he wouldn't give up on Sam for the world

Julie closed a book about demonology and sighed, rubbing her exhausted eyes. When she was done cleaning all the rooms except the one's were locked. She had nothing good to do but bury herself in the books or watch some adult stuff as Sam suggested. Naturally she went for the second option. but a book caught her attention more than any other thing. The book she chose had every information about demons, written in a flowery language. So when she picked it up she couldn't let it go unfinished.

“ dammit!” she yelled realizing what Sam was after.

Charcoal eyes Dean had explained it all. Somehow his dear older brother was possessed by a demon and Sam was chasing after him. And according to the book not just any demon but a high level one, that can't be captured by a little summoning spell. She picked up the phone and dialed the only number that was in the contacts. The phone rang but no one answered from the other side.

Her heart skipped a beat knowing the possibilities, which could be even worse than death. She wouldn't just let Sam chase this alone and get himself killed, quiet possibly by his brother. She just wouldn't. She was grateful for the grumpy giant for stepping in when he did and saving her life and now that she realized that she was being an extra burden on him, she just couldn't sit back and relax at home. Even thought she might get herself killed after two seconds in this fight and there was obviously big bounty on her head. However she decided to follow his trail.

In the huge garage with so many choices Julie finally found a car she could make function in an hour or two and there was a can of gas, she treasured more than million dollars at the time. After the car was fixed and the tank was filled. She grabbed some money from the bottom of her suitcase and the scrap of paper Sam wrote down the place he was heading.

“ Drew Neely” she muttered sitting down at the driving seat. “ all right darling please don't go stopping on me.” she said giving a light pat to the steering wheel.

Sam had to deal with two emotions at one time, after the conversation with Crowley, anger and sorrow. Sam thought that, Crowley dragged Dean's body somewhere and have one of his filthy demons smoke inside him. After seeing Dean's black eyes in the security footage of the store he really started believing it. But once the king of hell brought up the mark that Sam had tried so hard to forget, his last theory evaporated from his mind. Even though Crowley loved messing with him so much , he had no reason to lie.

A Winchester, powered by the mark of Cain, wielding the blade that can kill anything was a great asset to have. Demon or not the king of hell would not let him go that easy, no matter how much Crowley bluffed about him and Dean being BFFs, he obviously have Dean as his pet and it's just a matter of time until Dean snaps from that to the next level and he wouldn't be controlled even by the king of hell. Whatever, he was going to get his brother back to him, before Dean takes that turn.

“ the only demonized soul inside of Dean is his and his alone” Crowley's words were still echoing in Sam's ears as he drove in the middle of the night to the address in Beulah he tracked. He had underestimated the power of the mark. It wasn't just able to bring dean back from dead but also turn a soul as righteous as his, in to a demon.

Sam just managed to pull over when the car decided to just die on him in the middle of the road. Sam wondered what the hell happened to the car, not even the 'check engine' light wasn't on. The hood popped open as he got out of it cursing in his mind.

“ useless piece of trash!” he glared at it pulling a flash light of his pocket and switching it on. Headlights from another vehicle lightened the road. For his surprise it stopped behind Sam's car and a man got off.

“hey” Sam greeted covering his face from the bright light.

“need some help?” the man offered.

“uh... yeah. I-I think so, it just died on me.” Sam was more than happy to get some help.

“ out here?” the man asked.

“ yeah.”

“ you're ride really has it out for you. Huh?” he said staring the coat of dust mustered on the surface.

“ I guess so” Sam replied bending down to pull up the hood with one hand.

“ give you a hand with that?” the man asked again.

“ yeah. I'd appreciate it. Thanks!” Sam backed away smiling in relief, while the man opened up the hood with ease and stared at wired small box with a red light planted on the engine.

“ Ah...These new cars and their computerized brains, huh? One zero out-of-place, and the whole thing just goes kaput. “ he said drawing Sam's attention to the little box. “ Well, right there. There's your problem.”

“ what the hell is that?” Sam hunched his shoulders in surprise.

“ Well,that's a kill switch.” the man replied. “This here is the remote.” he said taking out a small gray thing out of his pocket. Sam's hand automatically moved to his gun he had tucked in his pants but the man knocked him unconscious before he could grab it.

“ guessing you're a righty.” the man said putting a sack over Sam's head.

Julie stepped in to the Gas'n'sip and smiling all bright and stepped out of it puffing out and face red in anger. She was not good at acting and going incognito wasn't easy as she first thought. Going in as a whatever thing that her brain could conjure up at the moment was the only way she knew. Although she got all the information she needed, the conversation with the cashier was pretty much awkward. He was constantly referring to Dean as 'the porn guy' and she didn't like it.

“ yeah he was about six-foot tall, and dark blond hair...and, and freckles, lots of freckles.” he replied when Julie asked how the porn guy looked like.

“ and was there any one else? An FBI agent maybe?”

“ you mean that really tall guy with a broken hand. Yeah, He was here just this morning. I gave him the dead guys phone. What business do you have with him?”

“ no,no, he's just a friend. I don't want him to get in to any trouble. Porn guy's up to no good!” Julie shook her head.

“well you know... may be we can get up to no good together.” the cashier boy slid a receipt to her with his number written on the back. Julie gulped hard searching for a way to get away. With an awkward smile she muttered..

“ sorry! I don't swing that way.” she slowly backed away and headed to the door looking at another woman's behind as hungrily as possible to convince the lie.

“ you don't look like that!” he said to her when she pulled the door and stepped outside. Damn right she wasn't and she totally didn't sign up for playing gay. Not that she hated gay people but she just wasn't a one.

Sam's phone buzzed in his pocket but his hands were tied together but some how he managed to slid the screen loosing his hand from the sling a little bit and shush the person that was calling.As soon as the man was done with setting his bag on the table he came and stood near him. After exchanging some words he pulled out Sam's phone out his pocket.

Fortunately Julie was smart enough to hang up after the thirty seconds she needed to trace the call. Now that she have a location of Sam and a feeling that he was doubtlessly in a trouble. She immediately hit the road praying to god that he'd be alive by the time she reach him.

Sam sneaked out through the back door when Cole went out to answer his phone. Sam ran until he found himself away from danger and there was tears running down his face. Cole wasn't really a threat, even if he goes against Dean he'd be dead in second. It was Dean's word which hurt Sam's psyche most. It was hurting more than the sprained elbow,Cole messed up even more. He knew his brother and when everything fails his last hope would be Sam. He wouldn't just abandon his little brother.

“ Is he dead?” Sam heard Dean's voice clear as a bell.

When Cole held the phone and ordered him to speak, Sam was out of words, he wasn't even sure that it was his real brother he was talking to. He just stared in to the phone blankly. With Cole's punch he finally opened his mouth to let out a pain groan followed by calling Dean's name in desperation.

“ I told him to let me go. So whatever jam he's in now, that is his problem” as soon as Sam heard those words slip from Dean's mouth, he knew that his big brother who used to love him so much was gone, faded from existence. And he couldn't bear that thought.

“ I'm sorry” Sam muttered knowing the pain that Cole kept bottled up for so long but he was much more pain than Cole ever was after hearing his brother's voice after a long time and hearing that Dean couldn't care less if he lived or died.

But what Cole needed was to know where Dean was not Sam's sympathy. After Sam made his narrow escape with few crushed bones in his arm. He reached for his phone again and dialed Cas's number. He felt the angel's voice shaking as he explained that Dean has turned in to a demon.

A car stopped in front of him as he finished the call. Sam stood frozen for a while, seeing the girl he left back at the bunker seated in the driver's seat.

“ get in!” Julie chided. He gulped back the lump of surprise in his throat and climbed to the passenger seat.

“ how?” he asked.

“ daughter of a hunter! Remember?” she winked at the still gaping man. 

“ so where to?” she called for a destination.

“ Beulah, there's a bar..”

“ what happened to your brother Sam? When did he get possessed?” Sam gave out another look of surprise.

“ how did you know?”

“ why do you think I got here? Tell me what happened?” she demanded an answer focusing on the road ahead.

“ he's not possessed. He is the demon.”

“ what the hell happened?”

“ mark of Cain! Turned his soul to a demon..” Sam explained rather doubting that she would understand a thing.

“ mark of Cain?”

“ yes..” Sam sighed.

“ as in the Cain and Abel? The freaking father of murder?”

“ yes..” he sighed again. “well, you have been paying attention in Sunday school.” Sam said shifting uncomfortably in the seat grasping his arm tight.

“ you look like hell Sam, you need rest..” Julie said feeling sorry for him.

“ I can rest, when I get this done!” he said in a solid tone resting his head on the window.

As both Sam and Julie thought, the bar was a bust. There was no trace of Dean or the king of hell. They had no more reasons to linger there. Julie sat once again at the wheel, letting Sam have good sleep in the back seat. But he was awake most of the time and he never said a word, just stared out the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heart breaking stuff is coming ahead....


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a light at the end of this tunnel and some knife ain't gonna take you to that light. at least i'm not letting you walk away that easy!

When she stopped the car outside the bunker, Sam jumped out in a snap, not letting her say a word. Julie silently followed grabbing some grocery bags from the back seat, knowing that he didn't wanted to talk about anything. She walked to the kitchen hearing the sound of Sam slamming the door of his room.

 

He flopped on his bed, his hand was hurting so bad and his mind, thousand times as much. He stared at the empty ceiling for a moment before getting up and strolling to his brother's room. It had been weeks,since Dean suddenly disappeared from there after the fight with Metatron. All Sam found was smell of sulfur and a small note telling him to let Dean go. Now that he know that Dean left with his own discretion, Sam no longer felt anger sweeping inside of his gut but pain clouting his heart every time he walked past the locked door.

 

He finally found the courage to open the door once again and step inside. The bed was vacant, except for the large patch of blood which still stood garnishing the light brown sheets. Sam's gaze moved to a rotting ball of mould on the table. A half eaten slice of pecan pie,Dean's favorite. Sam remembered it being the source of last round of sibling rivalry between him and his brother. But dean never said a word. He just shared a glance with Sam and drove off in the impala and came back after a while not only with pie for him but also with PB J sandwich for Sam.

 

Sam felt something clawing its nail on his heart. From now on he would never forget it. He would wrap Dean up in a blanket and bath him in pie 24/7. Hell! He would tattoo it on his chest if he had to. If only Dean would come to him once more and punch him in the face and remind him, not just any Dean, human Dean, his brother Dean.

 

Something bright and colorful was peeking under Dean's bed. Sam pulled it out. Pink, yellow, green,pink,yellow and green again. Three yards of rainbow-colored slinky. Well talk about being childish. Plucky penny whistle, that name still gave Sam chills. How many years had passed since they worked on that case and Dean still hung on to the immature thing, Sam brought for him. Sam never kept anything even remotely close to their hunts. They kept reminding him of the lost lives, he could have saved if he tried a little harder. but Dean kept the slinky for another reason. it had a sentimental value for him, more than an unsaturated child hood desire.

 

                                    **************************************************************************

Sam stood in front of the bathroom mirror, which barely managed to capture his giant reflection. After reading the journal, he felt sick. He rushed out from Dean's room in to the bath room to empty the components of his stomach. He flushed the toilet and got up to have a look in to his own eyes. They were glimmering, like a pair of brightest stars.

 

Tears jumped out of his eyes with a blink and made their way down his cheeks. He ran his palm over his face in attempt to wipe away the never-ending flow of salty water. Sam could barely recognize the man staring back at him. Red eyes, pale face, jumbled hair and a few wrinkles on his face he didn't recall having, two days ago. He was a mess, like his entire life was.

 

Sneaking in to his brother's room was both one of the most idiotic and wisest things he had ever done in his life. And the beaten up journal he found in Dean's closet, Man! It was just a fountain of heart-break. It convinced him once again that he was the worst man one could have for a brother. All those times he pushed Dean away and broke his heart. Even though Sam knew every sacrifice Dean had ever made for him, every deal, every compromise. Self loathing was nothing new for to Dean or for him but Sam never knew that Dean hated his life this much, not with so much detail. And getting to know it this way,broke his heart, in a level that can never be fixed.

 

Sam always thought his life was miserable and he never spared a second to think about how hard was it for Dean. All Sam ever did was make it even more difficult. Ever since he could remember he asked Dean for his mom. “quit asking Sammy!” Dean yelled every time.

 

Good! How could he never felt how dean's voice broke. His childhood, hell! his life was over the very moment he carried Sam out of that burning house. Sam was his sole responsibility since he was four. “ watch out for Sammy!” it was the mantra he muttered every single day of his life. There was nothing else put on his head by their dad. It was way too much pressure to be put on a child's mind.

 

He did his job perfectly and Sam failed him hard every time. There was nothing in Dean's life, he would sacrifice to save Sam's pathetic one.

 

“ you're a piece of shit Sam Winchester! You deserve to die!” anger rushed inside of Sam as he growled at the mirror. He dug in to his pocket again and grabbed the first thing came to his hand. It was a knife. Not just any knife, a butterfly knife. It was a gift from Dean, when Sam chopped off his first vamp's head. he hung on to it since he was thirteen.

 

It took him a long way back. The time he was back in the hunting life with his brother, right after Cas pulled his angst ridden ass out of hell. He remembered how happy they were and how simple things were, even how short his hair was. The body count was immense but Dean dragged both of themselves forward, even through the frigging apocalypse. Dean was still there for Sam when he fucked up really bad. He forgave him,for running off with ruby, for letting out Lucifer, for bingeing on demon blood, for being a freak. In return for that all he gave Dean was pain and heart-break.

 

Sam held his better arm STRETCHED in front of him, clutching the knife hard from the other hand. He twitched the blade against his skin. It didn't hurt more than a pinch but it was oddly satisfying to see the bright red streak of blood dripping down to the sink.

 

It all started coming back to him. Everything he said to Dean to set him on this path. Sam knew he was being too hard on his brother but it was really his anger and guilt speaking. Dean was desperately trying to come clean, to justify himself and Sam ought to listen not talk back but he didn't listen to him. It wasn't fair to force his guilt on Dean so Sam could rid himself from the pain. It was actually Sam not the mark turned Dean in to vile beast. Sam talked a big game, like he was Mr. perfect in all this.

 

“ You Know Sam I saved your hide back there” yeah he did and he did thousand times before. He sold his soul,went to hell, confronted the devil himself, got beaten in to a pulp. Do we really need to go through this list.

“ if the situations were reversed and I was dying you'd do the same thing!” Sam felt the confidence in Dean's voice as he spoke. And it took Sam, only four words to butcher his ego.

“ no, Dean. I wouldn't..” Dean shook his head, utterly defying the fact that it was his brother idea of being honest. What more excuse Dean needed to pick up the first blade and run away with king of hell.

 

“selfish!” cut...

 

“needy” cut...

 

“ Sad” cut..

 

“ pathetic!” cut...

 

with in two minutes there was bunch of deep cuts, more than he could count, covering Sam's hand from his palm to elbow. A sharp sting of pain ran through his whole body. Blood was springing down from his hand on to the sink and to the floor. He grinned bitterly at his masterpiece. He could feel his heart beat going slower as more blood pushed out of his splinted veins. The whole room started spinning out of control but Sam grabbed the knife again from the other hand to finish the job. 

 

It was aching so bad but it meant to an end all his suffering. He smiled bitterly again knowing this time it would be final, no one, not even Dean would stand in his way this time. If he dies he would stay dead, forever. And everybody would be fine Dean will be happy even as a demon. Having the time of his life, which he always deserved. And Cas on the other hand, he wouldn't be able to pull Sam back to life with his grace slowly wasting away, besides Sam never saw too much care written in the angel's eyes for him. The god squad will eventually find a way to save Cas and he'd be fine again. Everything seemed better when Sam pushed himself off the picture.

 

Sam fell on his knees on to the pool of his own blood. Hot sticky fluid splashed on his legs and his vision was starting to get fuzzy. He moved his hand trying to grab the sink to keep himself from falling. But the agony was too strong, he yelled in pain one last time and fell to the side like a giant tree cut down from its roots.

 

“ SAM !” he heard a faint voice, but it was thousand miles away.

 

Julie nearly fainted seeing the pool of blood spilled on the ground, she barely caught him before he almost cracked his head on the sink.

 

“Sam!.....Sam!....come on!” she yelled pulling from his collar. Blood was still seeping out from his hand, soaking their cloths wet. His left arm was utterly destroyed. She quickly tore a piece of his shirt and wrapped his hand tight.

 

After breaking every speed limit and every traffic law ever invented, they finally got to the hospital. Julie wasn't going to let Sam die, not on her watch. She ran along with the hospital crew who were rushing Sam in to the ER. She was out of breath with her eye balls gouged out until they were at the edge of falling off the sockets. Made everyone in the hallway wonder who needed to be taken in first. One of the doctors almost pressed the oxygen mask on her face instead of Sam's.

 

She had to let go Sam's hand at the door as someone pushed her out and slammed the door shut. She fell on chair in the waiting room and buried her face in her hands.

 

 

An hour passed or maybe two. She had no idea how fast or slow time went. She just waited, hoping someone would walk in and bring good news. The wait was driving her crazy, she got up and began pacing the passage. Impatiently peeking at the ER door for every passing millisecond. Soon her legs gave up and she fell back on a chair, not taking her eyes off the red light illuminating over the closed door.  

 

Although it wasn't right. She had to look at the bright side of the delay. It finally gave her time to think about what the hell was happening in her life. Three days ago there was nothing as perfect as her life. But now, all she got is two dead friends and the man who saved her silting his wrist in the bathroom. How can things get this messed up in so little time?

 

“Have you done the paper works?” someone passing by knocked some sense in to her.

 

“ damn it I forgot!” she got up cursing. One of the nurses gave her a forum which she filled out pretty fast and gave back.

 

“ I'm sorry miss but there's no insurance on this.” the nurse said handing the paper to her again.

 

“ oh, sorry let me just grab the card from my car.” Julie grinned harshly as she took the paper back. It was hard to fight the urge to rip it in to shreds.

 

It was crystal clear fact that,never in her life, Julie had had more than six bucks in her pocket. Health insurance? Ain't nobody got money for that! She had mastered the art of living with 30 dollars for a month, in the freshmen year. It was the only way she could afford all the precious text books and that budget doubtlessly didn't have part about health. She sure wasn't going to pay for the bill. And a hunter with a reliable health insurance or a source of cash. Never in a million years!

 

“ alright you assholes I wasn't expecting free health care either.” she opened the door and got in to the car. It was the perfect place to have her panic attack. What on earth she would do now? Rob a bank maybe.

 

   she looked around hoping for a miracle to crash in. Luckily she found something even better. Sam's wallet was laying peacefully on the back seat. There was few bucks, bunch of fake IDs and thank god! An insurance card. She felt a wave of clemency, slow down her racing heart. She ran to the  reception again, trying to pronounce whatever ridiculous name was in the card.

 

“ Bur...Burr...Berovitski...?” she sounded like an old rusty chain saw plugged in after years, struggling to function again.

 

“here!” she handed it to the nurse and filled a new forum. After it was done, she was back to square one.

 

As each and every moment passed without any tiding, her heart began racing again. Finally the door opened and the doctor stepped out. Sleeves of his long white coat was dyed red. Julie hurried to him anxiously, biting her nails. His face was terrifying her, there was no emotion what so ever crossing it.

“hey doc! How is he?”

 

                                             ***************************************************************

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life doesn't end at death, it keeps going in some form or the other. it can come back to us even as complete strangers.....

The bar wasn't as much as crowded as it was thirty minutes ago. Crowley let out a heavy sigh and settled his glass on the table. It was really hard sitting there with the speakers blaring a lame old one hit wonder and someone with a raspy voice trying too hard to sing. Half an hour ago the whole bar was booing at him but when the security guard got knocked senseless, all fell silent. No wonder half of the people left and the ones who dared to linger had their ears plugged. 

Crowley glared at the screen with flying lyrics and then at the man standing on the stage braying with the microphone held to his mouth. It has been weeks since he began 'howling at the moon' with Dean Winchester. To be honest, it was the most fun Crowley had in his entire existence but he was slowly getting tired of it. He was done misbehaving, pile of work was crawling in through the gates of hell. A king should rule not run around with his pet demon wasting his bloody time. He couldn't let hell go to hell on his watch.

In Dean's case, he..well he wasn't himself or not the normal version of him. He was in rather cruel and more sassy mode. Even though Crowley adored the new model, he missed the old person a little. He hated karaoke bars but mostly Dean trying and utterly failing to sing with his hoarse voice,which Crowley was convinced that even a crossroad deal couldn't fix. On top of everything what made him really stand on his nerves was the constant hook ups with random bartenders but the king of hell didn't care as long as the act of intimacy wasn't performed on his bed. Well, that rule was just broken few days ago.

Crowley sent out a loud yawn and rested his chin on his hand. He pushed the prosy drink out of reach and started doodling on the table with his fingers. A young suited up man approached the table and called out for him.

“ sire, I have some news.” the man said.

“ what news?” Crowley asked sluggishly,boredom still looming over his face. 

“ it's Sam Winchester sir..” the man paused looking terrified at Dean on the stage.

“ what about the moose....?” Crowley asked.

the man spared another cautious glance at Dean before bending down and whisper in to Crowley's ear. The king of hell stood straight on his seat and his eyes widened with shock.

“ Can't be!” Crowley whispered.

“ it's true sir.” man added and he was once again gone when Crowley waved his hand signing him to leave. 

After minutes of drowning in thought, still he was in denial about the news his minion brought. It sounded too made up to be true. Sam Winchester was keep fighting until the world ends type, not give up everything and run type. So yeah it was hard to believe. It wasn't long since he talked to the giant baby over the phone. Crowley didn't even sense a bit of daunt in his voice except for the bubbling anger.

“ I'm going save my brother and then I'm going to kill you...DEAD!” that threat was determined not just any determination but make former law student forget grammar, level determination. Crowley got up to go and see if it's real with his own two eyes, before saying anything about it to his karaoke demon.

******************************************

“ we've done all we can for now.” the doctor held his hand on the air stopping her asking anymore. Julie gulped back the list of questions she was about to ask.

” excuse me!” he walked away.

What a dick! Julie thought. She watched as the rest of the crew came out and followed Dr. rude. The last one walked out wasn't looking as grumpy as the others. So Julie approached her , with her fingers crossed. For her relief she was kind and polite. First she let Julie sit down and then she sat beside her resting one of her hands on Julie's shoulder.

“alright,calm down miss!” she smiled. Julie took in a deep breath and let it slowly out. 

“ how is my friend?” fear and anxiety was still draped over her voice.

“ He lost a lot of blood, almost drained himself and his wounds were deeper than we anticipated. We've done everything we can. All that is left to do now is pray for him.” Julie tried hard to bite back a sob and all that came out was a strangled hiss.

“Hey!” the nurse squeezed her hand on her shoulder and in a soothing voice she continued. I'm not telling you to loose hope. He looks strong. He can fight but if he doesn't pull through the night... then I'm really sorry.” she got up and followed the way to the nurses station.

“ wait!” she turned back. “ can I see him?” Julie asked getting up from the chair.

“ of course!” the nurse smiled again. “ he's not conscious though...”

Julie didn't care. All she knew was that she had a part to play in whatever happened to Sam. Right now, she wanted to see how he is and make sure he wouldn't die, on her watch. She stepped in to the room where Sam was laying limp on the bed. First thing she heard was the beeping of the machines he was hooked in to. She looked up and stared confused at the monitors that surrounded him. She knew what they meant and it was only making her feel worse. Then she saw Sam, laying on the bed with his eyes shut tight. All the wires on his skin and all the tubes going in his nose and mouth. He was pale, almost as white as the sheets. It was a sign of heavy blood loss. Well no shit Sherlock, she was literally covered in his blood. 

His left arm was completely ruined. There was no place in that wasn't covered in bandages. The blood transfusing kit was injected in to his right hand and it was forcing blood in to him. She quietly calculated, it was working twice the speed than the normal rate.

“ stop it Julie! You're going in too detailed!” she whispered to herself trying to prevent thinking about the machinery and how fast they worked. She sat down on the chair next to him. Trying to figure out what to do next. 

“ what the hell Sam! Why did you do this to yourself?” no answer came. She drew the chair closer to the bed. Taking his hand in hers, she pursed her eyes.

Suddenly everything seemed so dark and hollow. She was no longer sitting beside in the hospital room but standing in front of a small cabin darkened by the wilderness. She looked around no one was in her sight. Then she heard someone cursing and then a distant thud. It was coming from the other side of the cabin. When she went she saw them. Sam and Dean fighting about something.

“what's you're plan Dean!” Sam asked. Dean's words followed his fist in to Sam's face.

“my plan is to FIGHT!” Sam was thrown few feet back.

“my plan is to TO TRY!” Dean smacked him hard for the second time.

“my PLAN IS TO GIVE A DAMN!” Dean roared grabbing Sam from his collar. Julie tried jumping in middle and break off the fight but nothing happened. They didn't see her, not even heard her screams. It was like watching a movie. No matter how much she wanted to solve the problem she couldn't.

“you're telling me there's nothing! Huh! You're telling there's nothing to fight for! And there's nothing to hope for!” Dean yelled again. Alright, that was enough. Julie wanted to get out.

She opened her eyes with a gasp and shot up from the chair. Sam's hand fell back limp, on the bed. There was a pounding in Julie's head. It felt like her brain was about to explode inside her skull. She turned away from the bed and stepped towards to the door, swaying side to side.

“whoa!” the nurse cried in shock as she bumped in to the girl walking unsteadily out of the room. She dropped her files and ran a hand over Julie's back to keep her from falling down.

“ are you alright?” she asked after making her sit down on a chair and giving her a glass of water to drink.

“ yeah....yeah.. I'm OK. Just a little tired.” Julie muttered returning the empty glass.

“ I think you should go home. Don't worry about him. There's a whole hospital to take care of him.” she advised. Julie shot a glance at her and she was looking pitifully at her.

“ nah..I'm fine.” Julie assured.

“ I'm Sarah.” the nurse held out her palm to be shaken.

“ Julie..” Julie swallow back the sob and shook her hand. Sarah gave a mellow smile making it even harder for Julie to hold on to her tears.

“ if you need something tell me!” she said before getting up.

“ thank you!” Julie mumbled brokenly. She watched as Sarah walked away and wiped her eyes. It reminded her that two deaths were already on her account she wouldn't let it become three.

When everything else fails there's one place everyone turns to. Religion. So Julie decided to throw the final dice, well, nothing could possibly go wrong than this. She got up to follow the direction the wooden board hanging above her head showed but sat back down again and hid her face with a magazine in the speed of the light.

“Oh shit! DAD!” she whispered in surprise under the magazine she was holding over her face. A tall man at the edge of his middle age walked past her, impatiently turning his head around. Julie slowly got up still hiding underneath the magazine. She secretly followed her dad, he was heading to the morgue.

“come on dad! I ain't dead yet.” she whispered as she watched him inspect the entire morgue.

She knew what he was looking for and the guilt was tearing her apart. No parent should have to bury their child let along having to search hospital morgues hoping to find even their corpses. She wanted so bad to come out of her hiding and surprise him. She would give up her life to see a relived smile on his face when she gives him a big o'l hug and assure that everything is alright. But non of that matters when it comes to their safety. She will protect them at any cost, under any circumstance. Even if it means staying as far as away possible and never seeing them again.

Yet she needed to stop this madness and stop her dad wasting his days among dead bodies looking for her. she owed them to at least give a call and tell that she was alright. Julie watched as her father walked out the morgue relieved but terrified at the same time. He looked at least ten years older than his original years. He didn't seem like the bright and cheerful man she used to know a while ago. He was broken and exhausted. 

Julie flipped her phone in her hands, jumping back and forth between her decision. Call them or not? It wasn't a dilemma,still it didn't felt right. She would call them, yes, but not on this phone. Dad was smart, he would be back here within two hours with her whole family. So there was one thing to do.

Julie squeezed herself in to the phone box and reached for money in her pocket. She slid some coins in to the slot and dialed the number, after few rings some one picked up. It was her little brother.

“ hello..” god! it was so good hearing his voice after a while that felt like eternity.

“Mike, it's me...” it took less than a second for him to recognize his sister's voice.

“ OH MY GOD! Where the hell are you? What happened?” he exclaimed, his voice was shaking.

“ it's a long story Mike. This is not the time.”

“ damn it Jay! Just tell me! Are you alright?” he asked.

“ Listen brother, I can't talk about it now. I just wanted to let you guys know I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. And tell mom that I love her.” she covered the receiver with her palm, not allowing her heart broken sigh pass on to him.

“ Jay! Don't you dare hang up! I swear...” he yelled again.

“ sorry kiddo! It's for your own good, trust me!” she hung up the phone and gripped the metal box tight letting out few broken sobs.

One item was crossed off from her to do list. at least now her dad would stop scanning local morgues desperately to find her dead body. She went back inside the hospital and sat down on the chair at Sam's bed side again. She checked her watch 7 pm. Even though she didn't notice she had spent the whole day in here. There was more than twelve hours left from the deadline the nurse gave.

“ come on Sam, you can do it. You can hold on till tomorrow.” she whispered trying to grab his hand once again. She paused halfway through. What if she get swiped in to a another world again. She bit her lips taking a minute to consider. Bracing herself with a sharp exhale, she took his hand between her's and closed her eyes.

It was a crappy motel room. Two brothers were sitting at the edge of their beds. Sam looked so much younger though and less damaged. Dean was turning pages of a magazine. Julie took a glance at it. 24th may 2007 she read the date.

“ you should've seen it Sam.” he finally spoke. “ our lives, you were such a wussy.” Sam laughed at Dean's usual comment.

“so we didn't get along then, huh? I thought it was suppose to be this perfect fantasy..”

“ it wasn't” Dean snapped throwing the magazine on the bed. “ it was just a wish. I wished for mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me never just... you know..”

“ yeah, well I'm glad we do!” Sam said turning his head at Dean. Dean looked up and returned the sight. There was tears glittering in both of their eyes.

Julie let go of his hand again and slowly opened her eyes. It was easier than the last time. Her head was still pounding but it wasn't unbearable as the last time. What was happening? Was it a hallucination or maybe it was a memory. She was inside his mind, walking among his memories. No wonder he never saw or heard her. How could she be seen in something she was never a part of.

suddenly there was a stillness in the air, like everything just froze for a second. Then it was back to normal. But something felt wrong and strange. After another silent moment, it came. A endless BEEP that made Julie scream her head out. 

“HELP!!!” She howled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is my first story. feel free to tell me what you think about it. critics and comments are welcomed.


	8. chapter 8

Sarah was there in a second followed by troop of doctors and nurses. She was the first to shove Julie out of the way and check the monitors going off around Sam. Julie huddled in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

“ come on Sam! Don't do this to me!” she whispered shifting anxiously. Sam's body rocked up and down lifelessly as the defibrillator paddles pulled away from his chest.

“ all clear” the doctor cried.

“still no pulse.”

“ alright! Come on buddy! Starting CPR!” he ditched the paddles and pressed his hands firmly on Sam's chest. The outcome of the CPR was no different from the machine.

“still no pulse!” Sarah yelled.

“ one more time pal, COME ON!” Dr. rude said wincing as he felt Sam's ribs creak under the abundant pressure.

“ we have a pulse!” both the doctor and Julie sighed in relief. 

They all left but Sarah , after hooking Sam to the machines again. Julie fought hard the temptation to hop in the middle of the crew and hug Dr. rude or whatever his name was.

“ Ryan!” Sarah called out to the group walking out the room. One halted while the others scurried away. 

“ are fucking kidding me?” Julie mewled to herself after finding out who turned back to Sarah. Dr. rude or should I say Ryan, stood at Sam's bed and took Sarah's hand in his.

“ don't worry! He might pull through babe.” he muttered before leaning in to her face and placing a kiss on her forehead.

Julie couldn't help but let the tears slowly roll down her eyes. She could almost picture her friends in this position and it broke her heart more than it should have at the moment. All this was just a horrible nightmare. She wanted to wake up so bad and find herself in the dorm room playing mine craft with her friends instead of studying. But even after she opened her eyes she was still there standing in a hospital room looking at two strangers who happens to have the same names as her dead friends reflecting their future as if they were still alive to have a one.

Ryan turned to leave and stopped when he saw Julie looking at them in such an odd way with tears splashing down from her eyes. He poked Sarah on the arm and gestured in a 'do something' tone before walking away.

“ hey!” Sarah snapped her fingers in front of Julie's face. She jumped back returning to the real world.

“ I still think you should go home and get some rest.” Sarah advised.

“ no, it's alright. I'm fine.” the nurse cocked her head to the side and scoffed in disbelief.

The girl was still covered in blood like if she was rained on. Her hands had left dark red imprints on her face where she had touched previously. Her eyes were red from the constantly flowing Niagara falls in her eyes. She looked beaten down to earth. It was just a usual case scenario to a nurse, nothing Sarah never had seen before and It has always been her job to comfort the families of the people they helped, which she did gladly every time.

“ then let me get something for you to eat...okay?”

“yeah, thanks.” Julie grinned and fell back on her chair. She watched as the nurse walked away and vanish from her sight out of the door.

“ don't you dare do that again!” she threatened Sam and took his hand again. 

Sarah returned with a cup of coffee and some chips, she bought from the hospital cafeteria. Julie was out of Sam's room pacing the hallway. She shot her head up in reply to the 'hey' she got from the nurse and smiled. 

“ here, you need to keep up your strength.” Julie took them in great gratitude. Sarah smiled at the exhausted look Julie had on her slowly fading away.

“ thank you!” 

“ don't mention it.” she clicked her tongue and winked.

Julie took a sip from the coffee still standing in the hallway watching the warmhearted pally walk to the nurse station with a bunch of files clutched in her hands. An elderly man was walking towards the room where Sam was in. He was dressed in all black and had his eyes turned at the floor. He tapped his cane on the tiles with each of his steps. Something in his appearance gave everyone who walked past him a little chill down their spines, a feeling of nothingness and absolute dread.

Sarah accidentally bumped on to him as she was reluctantly rushing to the office. 

“ I'm so sorry sir!” she apologized and hurried away to finish her shift.

But he carried on walking ahead without a word or lifting his head. After two steps he stopped and looked over his shoulder and gently brushed his coat with his hand and resumed his walk with the rhythm less tapping. Sarah anchored few yards away from the office as she was struck by a thunder and the bale of files slipped from her hands.

She spun around clutching her chest in pain and fell on to her knees. She managed to mutter out something begging for help before falling down unconscious. Julie remembered the plastic cup dropping from her hand and steaming hot coffee burning her leg through the denim of her jeans but even before she started feeling the pain she crashed in the same old man as a result of running to the nurse without looking at the road. The man hissed and brushed his shoulder again. Julie didn't even apologized but ran even more faster to Sarah.

Ryan was the first one to get to the girl. He held her face in his hands and yelled for help. Soon everybody was surrounding them and Julie got lost in the middle of the crowd and was shoved back. Ryan took Sarah in his arms and ran inside with the crew and the door was shut again. After minutes in torture of waiting all Julie heard from inside was a loud wail which came after a broken sob. Followed by this,

“ time of death 10:15 pm.” her jaw fell open. How was that even possible? Sarah was just fine five minutes ago. 

She stared blankly as something covered in a white sheet was pushed past her in to the morgue. Ryan slowly crept out, his eyes already begun to tear. She thought of talking to him and consoling him but who was she do anything and enough people had their hands resting on his shoulder already. So she lagged back to Sam's room without saying a word. She quietly lowered herself in to a chair in the hallway out side the room.

She didn't knew what she felt any more. She was stuck between agony and exhaustion. The past three or four days had been an emotional roller coaster ride for her and it wrecked her more than fourteen tequila shots. One more out burst and she'd be either rocking back and forth in a corner or running around the place, howling. She put up with everything happened so far without loosing her marbles but she doubted for how long.

There was nobody in the hospital chapel but just a bunch of empty benches. No one seems to believe in god these days. Julie herself was never a believer but desperate times left her with no choice. She sat on the front row, with her hands clasped together. She prayed or at least did her best to tell all her troubles in a decent language.

“ fuck it! I can't take this shit anymore.” she blew out in anger. “ if demons are real, you must be real and then your angels must be real too.”

“ I don't care what the Fuck you have to do but send one of those winged dicks downstairs. It's not for me, it's for a good man, he deserves you help.”

“ may be you have a thing for screwing with good people”

“ you had fun killing that nurse didn't you. What was her problem. Being too fucking nice? Quit screwing with innocent people and send me a fucking miracle! I don't want anything else.” she stomped away back in to Sam's room.

That creepy old man man was seated in the hallway, in chair that was directly in front of Sam's room. He was watching him with a disconsolate glare, tapping on his cane with his finger tips. Julie squinted her eyes at the man, something was not right and she couldn't quiet put her finger on it. She walked over to him and asked.

“ friend of yours sir?” 

“ no.” his answer was short and cold but he did lift his head up to meet the eyes of the girl standing rooted in his presence.

He frowned in disbelief and held the stare for another whole minute. His eyes were slow and calculating, looking her up and down narrowing his brows. It didn't take long to her to feel uncomfortable.

“something wrong sir?”

“ no, I'm just tired.” he replied with a raspy voice.

“ shall I get you something to eat?” she asked just to be polite and she didn't thought he reply would be a yes.

“ that would be great” she cursed under her breath and walked down stairs in to the cafeteria.

“sir are you leaving?” Julie bumped in to him again. She had two milkshakes in one hand and bag of chips in the other.

“ I came to take someone with me but I changed my mind. Thanks for the hospitality though.” he said taking one cup from her hand. He walked away slurping it while she watched with questioning look in her face. 

“ take good care of your friend child, and your self too.” he glanced over his shoulder one more time and said before disappear in to the crowed.

Alright! First of all how was that not creepy? She shuddered feeling a wave of unease and fear needle through her skin. She shook her head in attempt to banish the discomfort she was feeling. This day couldn't get any weirder and heart breaking. She took a seat beside Sam once again, checking the time. 12:59 pm.

She was ready to get lost in the trance of his memories once again. She would search every inch of his mind and find a way to put him back together, when he gets better. She already knew it would be dark and full of pain but never could have guessed it would be all she will ever be able to find inside. Although it was all black and scary, she felt a warmth standing behind her and protecting her from all the horrible thoughts. It was Sam's soul, bright,warm and graceful. Despite all the things he went through it remained in its perfect form. His soul must be without doubt one of the finest creations of god. He probably smiles himself to sleep at night.

She placed his hand back on the mattress and took a long calculating look at his face. She was surprised, surprised that he didn't do this earlier. It must have taken hell of lot mental strength not to take a shotgun and blow his brains out right away. Cause if she was in his shoes she'd have already done it years ago. 

The worst thing was Sam's opinion about himself. He gave far more less credit to himself than he actually deserved. Admit that all of us make mistakes in life but it's just human nature. Not something to put your mind through hell everyday. That was just not fair to do so. He deserved a peaceful life as much as the others. Maybe even more.

Underneath all the bruises and slain dreams there was a man, kind and gentle and with all the love he could give. Julie could see him, really see him. The man who would give anything to save his brother. The man who jumped in to hell fire with the devil to save the world. The man who was ready to sacrifice his life just to see a end of it. All theses incredible things he had done and still he was not able to forgive himself.

“ you're worthy Sam. Worthy of saving.” she said brushing a lock of his chocolate brown hair from his face.

Sam gasped, waking suddenly and chocking on the tube in his throat. she jumped back.

“Sam! HELP! I NEED HELP!” she yelled running in to the hallway.

**************************************************


	9. chapter 9

Castiel knew, the first moment he saw that horrible mark etched in to Dean's hand. He knew eventually everything would boil down to this. It had been worrying him for so long and when he finally got the news of Dean being turned in to a demon, the angel was not at all surprised but washed out. It was hard, hard even thinking about not seeing his wonderful soul again. Castiel felt guilty. He could've warned Dean about the consequences that his action would bring him. He should've done it but he didn't. He was too busy fixing his own mistakes that he didn't even notice until his best friend slipped right from his hands and snapped.

Lately he was being pulled in both directions by heaven and by his friendship with the Winchesters. But he could barely stand up for ten minutes never mind fighting demons or angels. The grace he stole was fading and weakening him by the minute. The choice was simple yet he'd rather die than slitting the throat of another one of his kind and gaining a little power to last few months. Heaven can go on without him but the Winchesters, Dean? Sam? Not a chance. 

Castiel could read Sam's weary tone, when he last called. He has no where to turn but to the angel. All of his friends ,everyone he could rely on was dead. Castiel couldn't turn his back on the younger brother. With all of what is left from his strength he would help Sam, to save his brother and bring back his friend. 

But it had been two days since he last heard from him. When Castiel went to the bar in Beulah, where he promised to meet up, there was no one, not even a trace of him. It was strange, Sam had been giving regular updates to for the past month, called twice some days even. He was worried about the younger Winchester. He had been so close to the edge, even Castiel didn't knew when he might jump. 

“ Castiel? Castiel?” the ear splitting honk the passing truck driver gave dragged him back to the real world. He turned his head to the passenger seat to find her scowling at him.

“ you're going to get us both killed Castiel.” Hanna said.

“ an angel wouldn't be killed by a car crash” he replied. She sighed, after all these years spent among humans and he still can't seem to grasp the concept of what she said.

“ you know that's not what I meant. You need focus on our mission.” 

“ I am focused.” .

“ yes, I saw! ” she scoffed.

“ I am!” he snapped.

“ look Castiel, don't get me wrong. But you need to stop thinking about the Winchesters. You have other problems to take care of.”

“ I know ” he stared down for a moment. “ but Sam needs my help.”

“ I need your help too, would you help to fix your entire home or just one man.” she asked peering on to his face. The answer was written in his eyes. 

“alright, just help me this one time and you can go and see him.” Hanna affirmed. “ I'm just worried about you Castiel, you need to renew your grace.”

“ Hanna I've told you. I'm not killing another angel again.”

“Fine, if that's what you really want.” she pulled the shutter halfway down letting the cold night breeze barge in and leaned her head on the glass.

“ who is in Oregon?” he asked.

“ an old friend.”

“ who?”

“ Joshua.”

*********************************************************

Thunder rumbled in the sky and another white spark ran across the sky blinding her for a moment. Rain was drumming on the windscreen of the car. Julie turned up the stereo to hear the weather forecast better. The weather would not change for a week according to their prediction. It was six in the morning but seemed like midnight and the wind was brushing relentlessly through every tree top threatening to pull them down. Despite how gloomy and nasty the surrounding looked, she was in a very light mood, as light as a feather caught in the free wind.

She was finally driving home with a fleecy smile on her face,after spending almost a whole day in the hospital. It was by far one of the most arrant days of her life but who knows what's next to come. So it was too early to jump to conclusions. Sam was stabilized. At last! And they removed half of the wire and tubes that were connected to him. Except for the blood transfuzer working with sonic the hedgehog speed and the nasal cannula that made her cringe every time she saw it. She could make up her mind,past regret to go home, after the doctors somehow convinced her, that he would be alright without her presence at his side. 

She drove to the bunker in silent joy and opened the door to find herself completely alone. Sure, it hasn't been long since she arrived here but it was sad keeping Sam away from his domicile and occupying the whole place all to herself. But the weariness was overwhelming the tribulation. She craved a nice hot bath and needed some sleep for fucks sake! 

She almost choked on the words of the song she was humming, when she entered the bathroom. A lake of blood was plastered on the floor, like a Jackson Pollock painting. Before doing anything else she had to clean it off. She scrubbed for nearly an hour and still the stains wouldn't go completely away. It was like even the cement wanted to keep a reminder of the stupid thing Sam did. 

“fuck this! I'm done!” she groaned wiping a sheen of sweat off her brow.

She made herself a meal and ate it while scanning a book of demonology. There was only a honorable mention about Cain and the first blade. She had to hit the books again later to find something more about what happened to dean. But first she had to look in to getting Sam in to better shape. Both physically and mentally. She wasn't exactly a counselor from suicide hotline, but she owed to make him understand how much he's worth. She had to knock some sense in to him. 

Sam's phone was lying beside the bathroom sink where he left it. Julie didn't hear it faintly buzzing over the classic rock blaring through the bunker. Finally she found it covered in blood and saw there was over 50 missed calls from some one named Castiel. It was a rather uncommon name but given the fact that he had called Sam over and over again, he must have been a friend or a family member, who's actually concerned about Sam. 

Whoever Castiel was for Sam. Julie felt obliged to tell him what was going on. So she dialed the number without a second thought. The phone rang for a moment until the person from the other side picked up immediately. It was a man, his voice was hoarse, sounding a little bit ill.

“Sam!” he answered fast and heavily with an audible sigh.

“Ca..Castiel?” Julie was unsure.

“who are you? Where's Sam?” Castiel's tone changed after hearing a female voice over the phone.

“he, he's in the hospital.” Julie stuttered. She felt the man's voice change. “ my name is Julie. I brought him here. He's in pretty bad shape. Please, I....I don't know what to do.”

“where are you?” Castiel asked, his voice worried and shaky.

“ St' Mary's, Lebanon,Kansas. Room no:102”

“ I'll be there immediately.” Castiel replied and hung up the phone. Julie sighed in relief, at least this man would know how comfort Sam more than she did.

It was later that day Julie went back to the hospital. After few hours cleaning and research and all she took off from the bunker to the hospital. There was a raging storm out side. She could barely see the road but somehow she managed to show up at the hospital in time.

Dr. Ryan was in the room with Sam. He was awake and listening to the doctor as he was going on about something. Julie almost crashed in to Ryan as he was leaving the room. He dropped the files in his hands and they scattered across the floor. Both knelt on the floor to pick them up. Julie felt like giving his a nice warm hug. His face washed away from tears and he looked so broken. But instead she gathered all the files and gave them to Ryan.

“I'm sorry for your loss!” she murmured as she kept the files on his hand.

“thank you!” he replied walking out of the room. Then he gave one pause again to add something.

“ I'll send a trauma counselor for him later this afternoon.” 

Julie stepped in to the room to find Sam laid back on a big fat pillow, with wire and tubes hooked on to him and an oxygen mask on his face. Julie wasn't sure what to say or how to make conversation happen and neither did Sam. Both stared at each other for a good solid minute. Julie slowly calculated the emotions which came and went from Sam's face. First it was shame, with a little hint of fear. Then anger bordering on regret 'ah! Fuck it' Julie thought to herself.

“hey Sam! How are you holding up?” she took a seat on the chair beside the bed. “ don't worry I'm not going to call you out on all of this” she smiled looking around at all the monitors surrounding them.

“but I have to tell you that scared the living crap outta me.” she smiled again reaching for his hand on the bed. Sam peered at her through his half open eyelids. Obviously he was still really weak from all the blood loss and Julie was pretty sure that she saw bone popping through his cuts. So she silently thought of not pushing the envelope too much.

“ don't you ever do that again!” she said squishing his hand between hers. There was tears gathering in his eyes about to fall down his face any moment now.

“hey!” a nurse passing by stooped in to the room. “ the doctor said not to tire him too much”

“ sure thing!” Julie looked back and replied with a light smile. The nurse left tapping her pen on the door frame.

Julie drew her chair much closer to the bed near Sam's head. She brought one of her hands up to rake through his wet matted long hair. Sam closed his eyes and tears were pushed out from the pressure found their way down over his pale cheeks. Even though he was a complete and utter stranger for her, it made her heart clench with pain to see him crying. Something about him screamed family to her, she couldn't just sit there watch him tear up.

“oh! Come on now! She said nothing to cry about!” Julie brought up her other hand to wipe the tears away from his face. “ since we can't continue our little chit chat, how about you get some rest, count some sheep maybe?” she suggested. Sam opened his eyes again stared at her, confused.

“ I'll tell bed time story!” Julie chuckled. “ or or even better, I'll sing you a lullaby. What you say?” she began stroking his head again. A hint of a smile dragged across his lips and he closed his eyes again.

“ that's the sprite! My dad used to sing me this” Julie exclaimed. Running her hands through his hair she began singing.

“ Hey Jude.... don't make it bad.......” thunder rumbled over her voice. The sounds of the storm outside continued.

“take a sad song...... and make it better........” she kept on singing. Her voice was so sweet and familiar.

“remember to let her in to your heart...... then you can start to make it better.......” her singing mixed with the stormy wind outside lulled Sam in to peaceful sleep.

“good night Sam! Remember the angels are watching over you!” she said leaning in to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“it's not yet night though.” someone by the door intervened. It was Dr. Ryan.

“can I come in?” he asked. He held Sam's files in his hands.

“sure, of course!” Julie stood up from the chair and invited. The doctor looked washed away, sad , miserable. Well not much of a difference from her and Sam.

“ so how is he doc?” she asked. The doctor took a glance at his files then at the patient on the bed.

“well, he's in a recovering process. He's gonna need all the help he can get. Specially from someone really close to him.” he paused and looked in to Julie's eyes.

“ oh! No! God no! We're not like that. This is more like a friend slash complete strangers situation going on in here.”

“well I'm not the one who sang him a lullaby. Anyhow you have lot of work to do. Any idea why he'd do this?” Ryan asked.

“ I don't know much but his brothers been missing for some time and he thinks that it's his fault.”

“if so, you've got to convince his somehow that it isn't. We can fix his physically and make him look brand new, well except for some scars but mentally not so much. It's up to you entirely”

“then I'll try my best doc. I really owe him that much.” Julie assured.

“I'm glad to hear that. Well if you'll excuse me, I've got other things to take care of ” he said turning away from Julie and walking to the door. He paused for a moment at the door.

“and one more thing, you called him Sam, but my file here says Robert Berovitski.” he looked at her with questioning eyes.

“ oh! It's just a nick name!” Julie lied in an impulse and grinned.

“but....but I thought you two were just friends slash complete strangers.” the doctor giggled and Julie faced turned as red as a cherry from embarrassment.

“ don't worry I won't tell the CNN.” he walked out of the room still giggling to himself.

Julie let out a loud sigh as if a huge burden was lifted off her shoulder. The doctor's misunderstanding saved her from a butt load of trouble. So instead of correcting him Julie played along. She sat down on the chair again wondering to herself. 'when did I get so good at acting? Maybe I should've gone to drama school instead of med school.'

“ see what I've got to put up with because of you? Don't you dare do anything stupid like this again!” she threatened sleeping Sam.


	10. chapter 10

Castiel knew, the first moment he saw that horrible mark etched in to Dean's hand. He knew eventually everything would boil down to this. It had been worrying him for so long and when he finally got the news of Dean being turned in to a demon, the angel was not at all surprised but washed out. It was hard, hard even thinking about not seeing his wonderful soul again. Castiel felt guilty. He could've warned Dean about the consequences that his action would bring him. He should've done it but he didn't. He was too busy fixing his own mistakes that he didn't even notice until his best friend slipped right from his hands and snapped.

Lately he was being pulled in both directions by heaven and by his friendship with the Winchesters. But he could barely stand up for ten minutes never mind fighting demons or angels. The grace he stole was fading and weakening him by the minute. The choice was simple yet he'd rather die than slitting the throat of another one of his kind and gaining a little power to last few months. Heaven can go on without him but the Winchesters, Dean? Sam? Not a chance. 

Castiel could read Sam's weary tone, when he last called. He has no where to turn but to the angel. All of his friends ,everyone he could rely on was dead. Castiel couldn't turn his back on the younger brother. With all of what is left from his strength he would help Sam, to save his brother and bring back his friend. 

But it had been two days since he last heard from him. When Castiel went to the bar in Beulah, where he promised to meet up, there was no one, not even a trace of him. It was strange, Sam had been giving regular updates to for the past month, called twice some days even. He was worried about the younger Winchester. He had been so close to the edge, even Castiel didn't knew when he might jump. 

“ Castiel? Castiel?” the ear splitting honk the passing truck driver gave dragged him back to the real world. He turned his head to the passenger seat to find her scowling at him.

“ you're going to get us both killed Castiel.” Hanna said.

“ an angel wouldn't be killed by a car crash” he replied. She sighed, after all these years spent among humans and he still can't seem to grasp the concept of what she said.

“ you know that's not what I meant. You need focus on our mission.” 

“ I am focused.” .

“ yes, I saw! ” she scoffed.

“ I am!” he snapped.

“ look Castiel, don't get me wrong. But you need to stop thinking about the Winchesters. You have other problems to take care of.”

“ I know ” he stared down for a moment. “ but Sam needs my help.”

“ I need your help too, would you help to fix your entire home or just one man.” she asked peering on to his face. The answer was written in his eyes. 

“alright, just help me this one time and you can go and see him.” Hanna affirmed. “ I'm just worried about you Castiel, you need to renew your grace.”

“ Hanna I've told you. I'm not killing another angel again.”

“Fine, if that's what you really want.” she pulled the shutter halfway down letting the cold night breeze barge in and leaned her head on the glass.

“ who is in Oregon?” he asked.

“ an old friend.”

“ who?”

“ Joshua.”

*********************************************************

Thunder rumbled in the sky and another white spark ran across the sky blinding her for a moment. Rain was drumming on the windscreen of the car. Julie turned up the stereo to hear the weather forecast better. The weather would not change for a week according to their prediction. It was six in the morning but seemed like midnight and the wind was brushing relentlessly through every tree top threatening to pull them down. Despite how gloomy and nasty the surrounding looked, she was in a very light mood, as light as a feather caught in the free wind.

She was finally driving home with a fleecy smile on her face,after spending almost a whole day in the hospital. It was by far one of the most arrant days of her life but who knows what's next to come. So it was too early to jump to conclusions. Sam was stabilized. At last! And they removed half of the wire and tubes that were connected to him. Except for the blood transfuzer working with sonic the hedgehog speed and the nasal cannula that made her cringe every time she saw it. She could make up her mind,past regret to go home, after the doctors somehow convinced her, that he would be alright without her presence at his side. 

She drove to the bunker in silent joy and opened the door to find herself completely alone. Sure, it hasn't been long since she arrived here but it was sad keeping Sam away from his domicile and occupying the whole place all to herself. But the weariness was overwhelming the tribulation. She craved a nice hot bath and needed some sleep for fucks sake! 

She almost choked on the words of the song she was humming, when she entered the bathroom. A lake of blood was plastered on the floor, like a Jackson Pollock painting. Before doing anything else she had to clean it off. She scrubbed for nearly an hour and still the stains wouldn't go completely away. It was like even the cement wanted to keep a reminder of the stupid thing Sam did. 

“fuck this! I'm done!” she groaned wiping a sheen of sweat off her brow.

She made herself a meal and ate it while scanning a book of demonology. There was only a honorable mention about Cain and the first blade. She had to hit the books again later to find something more about what happened to dean. But first she had to look in to getting Sam in to better shape. Both physically and mentally. She wasn't exactly a counselor from suicide hotline, but she owed to make him understand how much he's worth. She had to knock some sense in to him. 

Sam's phone was lying beside the bathroom sink where he left it. Julie didn't hear it faintly buzzing over the classic rock blaring through the bunker. Finally she found it covered in blood and saw there was over 50 missed calls from some one named Castiel. It was a rather uncommon name but given the fact that he had called Sam over and over again, he must have been a friend or a family member, who's actually concerned about Sam. 

Whoever Castiel was for Sam. Julie felt obliged to tell him what was going on. So she dialed the number without a second thought. The phone rang for a moment until the person from the other side picked up immediately. It was a man, his voice was hoarse, sounding a little bit ill.

“Sam!” he answered fast and heavily with an audible sigh.

“Ca..Castiel?” Julie was unsure.

“who are you? Where's Sam?” Castiel's tone changed after hearing a female voice over the phone.

“he, he's in the hospital.” Julie stuttered. She felt the man's voice change. “ my name is Julie. I brought him here. He's in pretty bad shape. Please, I....I don't know what to do.”

“where are you?” Castiel asked, his voice worried and shaky.

“ St' Mary's, Lebanon,Kansas. Room no:102”

“ I'll be there immediately.” Castiel replied and hung up the phone. Julie sighed in relief, at least this man would know how comfort Sam more than she did.

It was later that day Julie went back to the hospital. After few hours cleaning and research and all she took off from the bunker to the hospital. There was a raging storm out side. She could barely see the road but somehow she managed to show up at the hospital in time.


	11. chapter 11

Dr. Ryan was in the room with Sam. He was awake and listening to the doctor as he was going on about something. Julie almost crashed in to Ryan as he was leaving the room. He dropped the files in his hands and they scattered across the floor. Both knelt on the floor to pick them up. Julie felt like giving him a nice warm hug. His face was washed away from tears and he looked so broken. But instead of doing that, she gathered all the files and gave them to Ryan.

“I'm sorry for your loss!” she murmured as she kept the files on his hand.

“thank you!” he replied walking out of the room. Then he gave one pause again to add something.

“ I'll send a trauma counselor for him later this afternoon.” 

Julie stepped in to the room to find Sam laid back on a big fat pillow, with wire and tubes hooked on to him and an oxygen mask on his face. Julie wasn't sure what to say or how to make conversation happen and neither did Sam. Both stared at each other for a good solid minute. Julie slowly calculated the emotions which came and went from Sam's face. First it was shame, with a little hint of fear. Then anger bordering on regret 'ah! Fuck it' Julie thought to herself.

“hey Sam! How are you holding up?” she took a seat on the chair beside the bed. “ don't worry I'm not going to call you out on all of this” she smiled looking around at all the monitors surrounding them.

“but I have to tell you that scared the living crap outta me.” she smiled again reaching for his hand on the bed. Sam peered at her through his half open eyelids. Obviously he was still really weak from all the blood loss and Julie was pretty sure that she saw bone popping through his cuts, when she found him. So she thought of not pushing the envelope too much.

“ don't you ever do that again!” she said squishing his hand between hers. There was tears gathering in his eyes about to fall down his face any moment now.

“hey!” a nurse passing by stooped in to the room. “ the doctor said not to tire him too much”

“ sure thing!” Julie looked back and replied with a light smile. The nurse left tapping her pen on the door frame.

Julie drew her chair much closer to the bed near Sam's head. She brought one of her hands up to rake through his wet matted long hair. Sam closed his eyes and tears were pushed out from the pressure, they found their way down over his pale cheeks. Even though he was a complete and utter stranger for her, it made her heart clench with pain to see him crying. Something about him screamed family to her, she couldn't just sit there watch him tear up.

“oh! Come on now! She said nothing to cry about!” Julie brought up her other hand to wipe the tears from his face. “ since we can't continue our little chit chat, how about you get some rest, count some sheep maybe?” she suggested. Sam opened his eyes again stared at her, confused.

“ I'll tell bed time story!” Julie chuckled. “ or or even better, I'll sing you a lullaby. What you say?” she began stroking his head again. A hint of a smile dragged across his lips and he closed his eyes again.

“ that's the sprite! My dad used to sing me this” Julie exclaimed. Running her hands through his hair she began singing.

“ Hey Jude.... don't make it bad.......” thunder rumbled over her voice. The sounds of the storm outside continued.

“take a sad song...... and make it better........” she kept on singing. Her voice was so sweet and familiar.

“remember to let her in to your heart...... then you can start to make it better.......” her singing mixed with the stormy wind outside lulled Sam in to peaceful sleep.

“good night Sam! Remember the angels are watching over you!” she said leaning in to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“it's not yet night though.” someone by the door intervened. It was Dr. Ryan.

“can I come in?” he asked. He held Sam's files in his hands.

“sure, of course!” Julie stood up from the chair and invited. The doctor looked even more washed away, sad and miserable. Well not much of a difference from her and Sam.

“ so how is he doc?” she asked. The doctor took a glance at his files then at the patient on the bed.

“well, he's in a recovering process. He's gonna need all the help he can get. Specially from someone really close to him.” he paused and looked in to Julie's eyes.

“ oh! No! God no! We're not like that. This is more like a friend slash complete strangers situation going on in here.”

“well I'm not the one who sang him a lullaby. Anyhow you have lot of work to do. Any idea why he'd do this?” Ryan asked.

“ I don't know much but his brothers been missing for some time now, and he thinks that it's his fault.”

“if so, you've got to convince him somehow that it isn't. We can fix his physically and make him look brand new, well except for some scars but mentally not so much. It's up to you entirely”

“then I'll try my best doc. I really owe him that much.” Julie assured.

“I'm glad to hear that. Well if you'll excuse me, I've got other things to take care of ” he said turning away from Julie and walking to the door. He paused for a moment at the door.

“and one more thing, you called him Sam, but my file here says Robert Berovitski.” he looked at her with questioning eyes.

“ oh! It's just a nick name!” Julie lied in an impulse and grinned.

“but....but I thought you two were just friends slash complete strangers.” the doctor smirked and Julie faced turned as red as a cherry from embarrassment.

“ don't worry I won't tell the CNN.” he walked out of the room still smiling to himself.

Julie let out a loud sigh as if a huge burden was lifted off her shoulder. The doctor's misunderstanding saved her from a butt load of trouble. So instead of correcting him Julie played along. She sat down on the chair again wondering to herself. 'when did I get so good at acting? Maybe I should've gone to drama school instead of med school.'

“ see what I've got to put up with because of you? Don't you dare do anything stupid like this again!” she threatened, the peacefully sleeping Sam. 

************************************************************  
The storm continued all day long. It was reckless and it wasn't safe to drive through the storm. So Castiel and Hanna had to take recidance at a local motel. Castiel looked restless and scared since morning and Hanna could see right through fake mask of tranquility, all the crippling fear and anxiety he tried so hard to hide.

Castiel sat at the edge of one of the two beds in the motel room and stared at the television in front of him, holding the remote from a one hand and pressing the next button mindlessly, switching through the crappy five channels the motel offered. His eyes were on the screen but his mind was wandering somewhere far far away. Hanna sat on the other bed placing a hand on Castiel's knee.

“Castiel?” she called out to him. He jumped at her voice and turned his head at her. ”is something wrong?” she asked still keeping her hand over his knee.

“ no, no” he replied and turned back to the TV. His voice was too shaky and and his tone was too forced to be true.

“it's about the Winchesters, isn't it?” she asked again squeezing her hand. Cas sulked and looked down between his legs. The remote fell from his hand on to the floor.

“tell me Castiel! You can trust me.” Hanna moved her hand from his knee to his shoulder patting him reassuringly.

“it's Sam.” Cas finally replied. “ something's wrong over in Kansas” he continued still looking down.

“ the younger Winchester? What happened to him?” Hanna asked.

“ I don't know. Someone called me this morning saying he was in the hospital.” the worry was now fully visible on his face now. “ I have to be there.”

Hanna sighed loudly and took her hand off his shoulder.

“ look I understand how you feel but we have bigger concerns now. Entire heaven is has to be rebuild and you're concerned about two humans. Why should you put them first above everything else 

“ they're like family to me Hanna. I can't turn my back on them. Sam needs my help!” Cas retorted. 

“ so do I Castiel! Heaven gave us a mission! I..,we have to finish it. You can't just give up now!” Cas stood up from the bed and walked towards the door.

“ you never had a family Hanna. I don't expect you to understand.” he opened the door. “ look inside your vessel, you might understand.” he walked in to the storm outside slamming the door shut behind him.

****************************************************

Crowley sent dean on a job, to murder some woman as one of the deal makers demanded. It was a long drive that was over 15 hours on the road. A bottle of jack mixed with some silver tequila kept him company through it. Human Dean might have been an alcoholic but even him wouldn't approve this kind of drinking. But this was Demon Dean, who was reckless even more than the human version. If he was human he would've died from alcohol poisoning quiet a while ago. His liver was screaming for it's life inside his body.

Even Dean wasn't quiet sure why he drank anymore. He no longer felt any pain nor any regret. Drinking was no longer a crutch for him to feel normal. Now it was just a addiction he couldn't quit. Just like the mark called for the first blade and blood. His body and mind called for shots. Dean never knew the mark could be such a bliss. Life was just awesome. It was eat, drink, sing karaoke and sleep with any slut he met in the bar, every single day. It was an endless cycle but he enjoyed it more than he had ever enjoyed anything in his life. 

He was no longer worried about anyone. No Sam, no Cas, not even himself. The entire world could crumble down in front of him and he wouldn't give an rats ass about it. Nothing bothered him anymore, there was no rules, no restrictions, no remorse, just endless freedom, to do whatever the fuck he felt like. Except for the occasional job Crowley sent him on. It wasn't a huge inconvenience for dean, since it was keeping the mark sated.

The impala halted in front of a two storied house. Dean looked at the house. The kitchen windows down stairs were open and the view was clear from the impala. There was a women inside, holding a child on her hip and wiping the counter top with her other hand. The child was a small boy, who wasn't probably older than three years. He clung on to the woman's neck and giggled. Dean could hear their both laughing as the night was deadly silent.

It was a honking of a horn which made him jump. He forgot for a moment that the impala was blocking the road that led to the house. He looked at the car. There was a man inside, jamming his horn at the impala. Dean looked down at the passenger seat. The first blade lay still on the leather. He grabbed it without a second thought and got off from his car. He could feel the mark burn as soon as his skin touched the blade.

Dean tucked the blade in to his bet under his jacket and took his heavy foot steps forward. He opened the door and stepped inside without any consent.

Dean opened the door again and got off from the car wiping his hands and the bloody first blade on his jacket. He dug out his phone and dialed as he stepped towards the impala. 

“ it's done!” he stated to the phone and tossed it inside the impala through the open window. He sat down on the hood to look at his proud work for a few minutes.

He had to get inside and drive away when the porch lighted up and the front door of the house opened. He grinned at the ambulance and the police cars that drove past him to the opposite direction, within ten minutes. He reached for his bottle of mixed drinks and took a swig that smug smile still etched to his face. 

***********************************************************

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first story. feel free to tell me what you think about it. critics and comments are welcomed.


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